Comment Again Please

Apologies if your comments are hidden/no longer there as I've reverted to the Blogger comments instead of Haloscan because with a basic account, six months of my earlier comments were deleted without my knowledge. I'm importing them one by one into the comments window....sigh.....So please feel free to comment on ANYTHING & EVERYTHING again!!!

Perfect Symmetry

Beautiful Chung-Chung I Will Not Be....

Purposeful colours as a deterrent to predators. I received flowers from Shanghai & greetings from Puerto Galera today. Remarkable distances these places are, yet with the technology of networks & computers, one is able to receive messages from different worlds. And it's nice being thought of. Just when you think you are not appreciated, someone sends flowers & suddenly my day is made. Last night, I was invited to a very pricey dinner at The Olive, Plaza Damas. I told Evie that this was an occasion to dress up for. And so we did. After a day's work at the launch where I mastered the ceremony, we decided to prep ourselves to be seen. Lo and behold, the upstairs of the restaurant was reserved & apart from the five invited guests, four employees & a boss, there was no one to be seen. So much for looking good. My best friend's mom once told me, that I should dress to the nines & look my best even when I'm taking the rubbish out because I might never know if the person who bumps into me, could be a potential husband. I laughed at the thought then & still do. I have strutted out in my pyjamas with my head wrapped up in a wet towel before & I think those whom I met were just too polite to comment. What good is a beautiful creature if it exudes poison to those who touch it? Naturally, people would associate beauty with untouchables. Not that I want to be touched but I certainly would not want to appear toxic to potential 'husbands' as my best friend's mom put it. Good tasting worms usually blend in with their surroundings. Fish loves earthworms. Birds too. So if I have to stay camouflaged to get the bird, then by all means, I'll keep my pyjamas & towel on. What they can't see usually taste better than the visually pleasing ones. I'm not looking for birds but I'm hyping the challenge for birds to look for me!!!!

Said a thousand legged worm, as he began to squirm, Have you seen a leg of mine? If it can't be found, then I'll have to hop around, On my nine hundred ninety nine....

Life Without Regimen

Cafe Meow - The Unfinished Cat Bag That I Made In My Time Of Despair 3 years ago. The security of a job may bring a stable income but what satisfaction do you derive from it if it’s just a job? Someone told me a long time ago that if you love what you do, you wouldn’t have worked a day in your life. I decided then that my life’s choices would be based upon what I wanted to do rather than for the sake of survival. It was a tough decision to cut back on my spending habits but it allowed me the flexibility of choosing my assignments & what I could to with all the free time on my hands. When God showed me the tasks ahead, I thought I was going to be sent on mission trips. I’ve taken disaster relief & counseling courses to be sent to crisis-stricken areas. I’m still on call should there be a need to go to Pakistan, India or Afghanistan to council children. However, putting myself up for missions of such nature may put a frown on any parent’s face, I may never get to go if it’s not in God’s will that I’m sent. How then, if I have a tremendous desire to serve God in times of adversities? My dad is surely going to smile in heaven knowing that the last time he’d stop me from doing something while I was in my teens, I went out & got published. I’m quite sure if he was around, he would say, “just be careful & think with your coconut before you act.” My mom has got short term memory loss & dementia due to her stroke several years ago. I’m sure she would forget that I went on missions right after I tell her. If I held a 9 to 5 job, I don’t think it would be possible to take off at a moment’s notice. Alright, my setback may be fewer beauty essentials & nail polish, but I get to reach the people & tell them about God’s amazing love! If I get martyred, then I would receive my crown of life & crown of glory on the other side! Okay, the strangest thing is, I’ve been doing without a beauty regimen for three months now to let my skin rest, allowing my freckles to free form & freak out. I have to seriously think about putting some level of protection on myself before I go out. The guy who assisted me in my accident called me ‘aunty’……! In preparation, I have also spent a considerable amount of time with people who meant a lot to me. Those who were there for me in my time of bereavement, those who were grieving the loss of their loved ones & those who needed comfort because they were separated from their loved ones. I believe God had given me similar experiences in my past which helped me empathise with their situation. How else could I explain the circumstances in which I am put to the test? I wouldn’t know where God would send me next, but should I leave, I would have left with many pleasant memories of time spent with them. Surely they must have benefited from the ministry as some has gone on to grow in the Lord, some has healed in the separation & some were reunited & have gone on their way. Whichever way God has used me to be a part of these people’s lives would be forever embedded in my mind. He truly answers prayers. Not everything was smooth sailing. There were many bumps along the long & windy road. At times, there were fog & I couldn’t see. Other times were as clear as day where God wanted me to be. Still, there was no map to show where the road was going & the junction to the final destination was just a step away. The road well-worn may be the easier road to take & most people often choose to take that road but the journey for me is on the road less traveled. As I take my step of faith towards my destiny, I know there will be disappointments I would face along the way with people who can’t share the same faith nor see the light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe if they would take up their cross & follow Him, things might be different..... The greater challenge would be having enough courage to go forward even when you don’t see any directions in spite of making wrong turns. The excitement of having encounters that would take you on another roller coaster ride along the journey of life without regimen. Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Psalm 37:3 – 6.

Getaran Jiwa

The Legend

Getaran jiwa Melanda hatiku Tersusun nada Irama dan lagu Walau hanya sederhana Tetapi tak mengapa Moga dapat membangkitkan Sedarlah kamu wahai insan. Tak mungkin hilang Irama dan lagu Bagaikan kembang Sentiasa bermadu Andai dipisah Lagu dan irama Lemah tiada berjiwa Hampa

No amount of prevailing good feelings can ever supersede the thoughts that hold a nostalgic person captive. The legendary P.Ramlee was honoured only after death. Had he been alive, he would still be making movies to keep his audience happy with his versatile acting. Would there be any honour to that, you might ask? Only by those who appreciated his talent & contribution perhaps. He never lived to know how much his works meant to the people. Just as there are individuals who were denied of any chance to be made known just because some preferred ones were more established or deemed to be more significant. Having the right looks, passion, aptitude, talent, condition or track record doesn’t guarantee recognition nor awards either. The decision often lies with the producer. Producers usually prefer old & tried hands as predictability ensures better control. A perceived success. What then, if you get passed over by the producer??? Do you stop composing songs, making movies, directing & acting in them & touching lives??? If it’s a part of you that makes you who you are, you will soon learn that the measure of success is not in the awards that you receive but from whom you receive the award. It’s about the journey of getting there. Not the destination. If you have given your all & don’t get what you work so hard for, then work with another producer. The process itself will strengthen you & prepare you for that break in your life. In Tan Sri P. Ramlee’s 44 years of life, he spent 28 years doing what he loved & was only honoured 17 years after he had passed away. You would have to look at his past in the reruns, to understand what he represented but you will never know his potential as he was never given a future. And you will get bored of reruns after awhile. Perhaps we should leave the passed to the past when he ended the last episode. Incidentally, I went to a mamak stall that had portraits of P.Ramlee the night before I made a lucky dip & got this lapel pin given by The Philatelic Society at the post office.

Big Children

The Canopy Walk Mortality is not something that had a syllabus in school to prepare you for an eventuality of the two, very definite things in life. Death & taxes. I had an accident on Sunday night after a day out at FRIM, conquering my fear of heights by going for the Canopy Walk. I was driving home on a detour to a Victoria’s Secret’s warehouse sale after dinner with friends. I was tired, my legs were wobbly from the climb (possibly from the fear too), I was hot & bothered when all I could find at the sale was an overstock of ‘D’ cups plus lots of ‘under-supported’ bras laid for all to rummage in trays. Whatever happened to the sleepwears & comfort clothes that they advertised on sale too??? I went home feeling very under-sized, of course, never ever will I be able to fit into any ‘D’ cup no matter how much chest exercises I did at the gym. I wish there was a manual of exercising methods for bust-increase during my teens to teach me all that I ever need to try for a ‘D’. I was hit by a car that tried to turn right before her time. My frontal right portion took the brunt of it & not me, thankfully. I didn’t see her coming but something told me to jam on my brakes even though I had the right of way at the cross junction. It could have been the driver’s side to take the impact. I guess my time is not up yet. The first reaction of any sane person would be to shout high heavens on the culprit who damaged your car but mine was a very simple statement, “Lady, do you know you could have killed me? Couldn’t you wait?” The lady in question started to hurl accusations at me & got defensive of her ‘rightful’ way but I just couldn’t be bothered. There should be a manual for road behaviour. I haven’t had an accident that was my fault for a decade. I could hear someone trying to calm my nerves with a comforting voice. It was from a Malay gentleman who stopped behind me almost immediately after the accident to prevent cars ramming me from behind. He kept reassuring me that I will be okay & not to be afraid. He told me what to do. And he stated that I would not be in the wrong because we had the right of way. He handed me a card as soon as I repositioned my car away from blocking traffic & he works at a car workshop. He didn’t even solicit for the business. Coincidence or what? I was really glad that he had been there as I was in shock & the first person I tried to call was my dad……..who incidentally, has passed away two months ago. I started crying. No, I’m never a cry baby but from the non-crying at the funeral till now, it has sunken in. Daddy’s not around to help me anymore. Anyway, I drove myself to the police station to lodge a report. I wish there was a manual for police report procedures after an accident. Divemuster offered to be with me but Moggie got to me by then. Everything seems to NOT matter to me anymore. I was faced with the eventuality of death. I was not afraid but I was jolted from the menial issues that seem to have taken priority in my life of late. I have also neglected certain things that needed attention. I’m one of those who would read instruction manuals of any gadgets that I buy from page to page to find out exactly how an appliance works. My students have very often, passed me their manuals for digital cameras, pdas, dive computers & even softwares to read so that I would be able to teach them how to use their toys. When we were in school, we had teachers to guide us to do the right thing. Some would take interest in your character development too. When we leave school, we make friends with people from the outside world. You would encounter some bad types, some good types & some types that you know would last a lifetime. They become the building block for relationships & inadvertently mould you into what you are today. In other words, friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, colleagues, bosses & clients have a part to play in building your character in the way you handle each relationship with them. What if you didn’t have good friends/boy/girlfriends/colleagues/bosses/clients? Would that experience carry weight in your relationship in the future? I spent the last three years on my own to rediscover myself with God & people around me whom I loved. We have books for everything from self-help to relationship guides, the art of selling to the art of looking good but what about a manual of interactions with every individual who crosses your path in your lifetime??? Now that we are adults, who are our teachers? How do you relate to someone what you have gone through without making the person feel inadequate? The closest thing I have found is obviously in the word of God but I’m still learning how to get by with individuals who test you to the limits. It is like having an accident daily feeling like a big child.