Big Children

The Canopy Walk Mortality is not something that had a syllabus in school to prepare you for an eventuality of the two, very definite things in life. Death & taxes. I had an accident on Sunday night after a day out at FRIM, conquering my fear of heights by going for the Canopy Walk. I was driving home on a detour to a Victoria’s Secret’s warehouse sale after dinner with friends. I was tired, my legs were wobbly from the climb (possibly from the fear too), I was hot & bothered when all I could find at the sale was an overstock of ‘D’ cups plus lots of ‘under-supported’ bras laid for all to rummage in trays. Whatever happened to the sleepwears & comfort clothes that they advertised on sale too??? I went home feeling very under-sized, of course, never ever will I be able to fit into any ‘D’ cup no matter how much chest exercises I did at the gym. I wish there was a manual of exercising methods for bust-increase during my teens to teach me all that I ever need to try for a ‘D’. I was hit by a car that tried to turn right before her time. My frontal right portion took the brunt of it & not me, thankfully. I didn’t see her coming but something told me to jam on my brakes even though I had the right of way at the cross junction. It could have been the driver’s side to take the impact. I guess my time is not up yet. The first reaction of any sane person would be to shout high heavens on the culprit who damaged your car but mine was a very simple statement, “Lady, do you know you could have killed me? Couldn’t you wait?” The lady in question started to hurl accusations at me & got defensive of her ‘rightful’ way but I just couldn’t be bothered. There should be a manual for road behaviour. I haven’t had an accident that was my fault for a decade. I could hear someone trying to calm my nerves with a comforting voice. It was from a Malay gentleman who stopped behind me almost immediately after the accident to prevent cars ramming me from behind. He kept reassuring me that I will be okay & not to be afraid. He told me what to do. And he stated that I would not be in the wrong because we had the right of way. He handed me a card as soon as I repositioned my car away from blocking traffic & he works at a car workshop. He didn’t even solicit for the business. Coincidence or what? I was really glad that he had been there as I was in shock & the first person I tried to call was my dad……..who incidentally, has passed away two months ago. I started crying. No, I’m never a cry baby but from the non-crying at the funeral till now, it has sunken in. Daddy’s not around to help me anymore. Anyway, I drove myself to the police station to lodge a report. I wish there was a manual for police report procedures after an accident. Divemuster offered to be with me but Moggie got to me by then. Everything seems to NOT matter to me anymore. I was faced with the eventuality of death. I was not afraid but I was jolted from the menial issues that seem to have taken priority in my life of late. I have also neglected certain things that needed attention. I’m one of those who would read instruction manuals of any gadgets that I buy from page to page to find out exactly how an appliance works. My students have very often, passed me their manuals for digital cameras, pdas, dive computers & even softwares to read so that I would be able to teach them how to use their toys. When we were in school, we had teachers to guide us to do the right thing. Some would take interest in your character development too. When we leave school, we make friends with people from the outside world. You would encounter some bad types, some good types & some types that you know would last a lifetime. They become the building block for relationships & inadvertently mould you into what you are today. In other words, friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, colleagues, bosses & clients have a part to play in building your character in the way you handle each relationship with them. What if you didn’t have good friends/boy/girlfriends/colleagues/bosses/clients? Would that experience carry weight in your relationship in the future? I spent the last three years on my own to rediscover myself with God & people around me whom I loved. We have books for everything from self-help to relationship guides, the art of selling to the art of looking good but what about a manual of interactions with every individual who crosses your path in your lifetime??? Now that we are adults, who are our teachers? How do you relate to someone what you have gone through without making the person feel inadequate? The closest thing I have found is obviously in the word of God but I’m still learning how to get by with individuals who test you to the limits. It is like having an accident daily feeling like a big child.