Pummkin's Pitch

http://pitch.pummkin.net

2006-03-24T20:00:00.000+08:00

In the event you've been waiting for the RSS feed to come here, please go over to the new site as I've migrated to my own web host at http://pitch.pummkin.net. Thanks for dropping in!

New Site

2006-01-10T20:42:00.000+08:00

Alright, I've moved to a new site & I haven't been updating here because I've been trying to get the site up & running so that I'd be able to have a feature rich site together with my blog! Pardon me as it's still in development stage & all my blogs have yet to be imported into it but you can bookmark it for future visits! http://pitch.pummkin.net I've spent hours on it & it better work......*yikes!*

After The Storm Has Passed...

2005-12-28T03:08:00.000+08:00

Light behind the clouds In the month of December, the rains usually beat down not only in the east coast where the north east monsoon hits but also here in the city. December is also a month where I pull out my comforter & extra fleece to feel all warm & cozy. Somehow, the Yuletide season brings forth that fuzzy feeling where everything feels like winter & hot chocolate is the order of the day. As moths & such seek refuge in my humble abode, I sit on my futon sofa, snuggled up in my leopard print fleece to read the book of Ruth in the Bible. I have never been a fiction reader. I preferred factual & informative scientific books. What a nerd, no wonder I need glasses now. My second older sister used to summarise the stories from Sydney Sheldon, John Grisham & the likes of them to me once she finished with them & I would look forward to the times when she tells them, the way she seems to bring the stories alive with her intonation & the suspense of the drama & the build up to the finale’. As an appreciative audience, I would leave her to her novels once I soak in her presence long enough not to irritate her but to let her know that she would be missed when I leave her alone to read. Sometimes I get impatient & pester her for the excerpt but she always manages to keep the suspense by giving me teasers & trailers. The book of Ruth is a wonderful love story of the loyalty of a widow towards her mother-in-law that led her to find favour with the man whom she eventually marries. When Naomi’s husband & two sons died, she released her two daughters-in-law to find their way back to their homeland but while one did, Ruth chose to remain, eats what Naomi eats, live where she lives & serve the God whom she served. She was determined to continue the journey with her to Bethlehem. Ruth chose to be an alien & endured the resistance of the locals when she could have been well accepted in her own homeland. Aren’t we all here to find favour with each other? What good would I be if I were not of any use to my friends? What good of a friend would I be, if I fail to listen…? What good would I be if I don’t know how to make others happy? I would never have imagined that my life would be lived like how the novels presented them. I’m no Ruth but I sure would like to fall in love the way she did…! The reason why my sister enjoys novels & why I like to watch love stories is to be lost in the sea of emotions that encompass me, something we don’t really get in real life. Even in the bleakest of moments, when the storm passes, the rays that break through the clouds always remind me of God’s presence as I watch Him project the silver lining…..

Langkawi At Present

2005-12-24T01:37:00.000+08:00

View from a hotel in Kuah, Langkawi I was up in Langkawi to teach a bunch of regional corporate bigshots how to build an artificial reef using Reefball which would benefit the poorer fishing community in Pulau Tuba, off Langkawi. Not only did I hurt my back from those low-roofed speed boats skimming & bumping over choppy seas, I also forgot to get chocolates for Divemuster. We stayed one night & spent the next day roaming the village, observing & talking to fishermen/women & shopping for Christmas presents. Of course, being the city bumpkin that I am, I got acquainted with the ducks, geese & buffaloes too! Not that difficult, just talk to them, shoot & run for your life…! River running just before the fishermen village, Langkawi. Life was so laid back that if I had lived there, I think my brain would regress. The pace of life is slow & unyielding. I may be the most hurried person but the Langkawians wouldn’t give two hoots. To get something delivered, you have got to plan days in advance to allow for late delivery. Having learnt our lesson from previous liaisons with the people, we planned this event months ahead. Searching for a masseuse was a futile effort. They don’t work before 10am & you can’t find any in town. The ones at the beach look dodgy & the reggae bar at Pantai Cenang swung to the beat of junkies. Hmmm….is this going to turn into another Koh Tao or Koh Samui? Parked boats at the mouth of the river, Langkawi Thai woman fishing using a super contraption! Back then when life was so much simpler, the only discotheque on the island was D’5 at Delima Resort; ice blended coffee was only available at Pantai Tengah; the wooden & thatched roofed Oasis Bar had good food & great company that ran the Crab Cracking Cruises on a yacht; Mokhtar’s Breakfast Bar had the best fried eggs & roti canai with everyone you know having their first meal of the day; the only traffic hazard was the invisible herd of buffaloes crossing the road at night, the solitary traffic lights junction at Kuah was the marvel of the islanders & visitors and the streets were dark.
Conventional fishing, this man caught only a few... Now D’5 is gone, Oasis had become a concrete building called Lighthouse, there are more traffic lights which means more cars and Mokhtar has died of cancer. Sigh….the only remnants of my days in Langkawi as a dive guide are the eagles & the rice fields amidst the azure green sea. Ah, the fishermen remain too….

2005-12-17T10:51:00.000+08:00

The clumps & patches of clouds across the sky exposing the lonely lunar...... The montage of food! Christmas dinner at Chit's

What Christmas Was

2005-12-14T10:19:00.000+08:00

Christmas tree worms celebrate Christmas their entire lives!!! I had just missed the moment by 5 minutes. An abduction attempt was made on a woman by four assailants with a fleeing car at the spot where I parked & alighted. When I got into my cellgroup leader’s house in Bandar Utama, I was confronted with a tensed group of members who just rescued the woman. She was my leader’s sister. As bluntly as my leader put it, “There you are, Pam! You missed the attempted kidnap by 5 minutes. You should have been taken instead so you can put them in their places!” (I hope I did not misinterpret what he said as a statement of rejection…) And I replied, “Yes! I’ll convert all of them!” It was a time of celebration for the season & a feast of sorts were dished out by members of my home fellowship to make the ‘pot-bless’ a reason to gather. We don’t believe in luck. My leader said grace & I gave my thanks in a silent prayer that I was not the one to experience the ordeal. To think that I missed my alarm to wake up at the time I was supposed to prepare a dish, I rushed through the food preparation to make it there on time. However, my usual route was congested so I veered off another way only to find congestion there too. Being the first one to arrive each week, this was the first time I didn’t feel bad for being late. Yet another divine intervention….. Christmas meant giving pressies & receiving surprises from loved ones. I got a pair of binoculars to bird watch AND bird watch….. It’s a time for turkey & mince pies. It’s also time to get away to celebrate my birthday which comes three days after… (Hint! Hint!) Somehow, this year would be the first Christmas I would not be performing for the church musical. During this time each year, I’d be getting into character, remembering lines, talking to myself while driving & getting ready, both mentally & spiritually, to face the crowd. What people get to see on stage is a played down version of my character. What they don’t get to see is the spiritual warfare that goes on for months leading up to the play itself. Before I took on a role in the performing arts, I had never dreamt that I would be serving in this capacity but somehow God has lead me to use the skills I’d learnt walking down the catwalk & being groomed to become beef to bring the good news to the weary. What can I say? This was not my intended vocation but an accidental one & I’m enjoying it! So I am here. I’ve shelved my plans to visit the islands of Thailand because some Thai guy predicted another quake that would send another tsunami our way. Not that I believe in his prediction but if disaster strikes, I would like to help CREST again. Last year I cancelled my trip to Koh Lipe & escaped the tsunami on Boxing Day because I took up the offer to perform for New Year’s Eve. With God allowing such to happen, perhaps it’s time to heed the message of the Christmas that had been…..

2005-12-05T15:45:00.000+08:00

An orchid along the path of my walk with God at Lake Gardens, Kuala Lumpur.

Austrian Food at Karl Beisl's

2005-11-25T16:20:00.000+08:00

Curried pumpkin soup with Austrian white wine I was invited to a food tasting at Karl Beisl’s by Andrew of one of our local dailies & when we arrived, two reporters from another daily have already started with dinner! The war of the universe has begun & yours truly was in the line of fire when the offensive party knows not that I do not work for their adversary. When the food arrived, they clamoured for the photo opportunity, leaving no room for Andrew or me to shoot. Getting a feel of a territorial war, I began to sympathise with Andrew. Seated next to the enemy, I had been the butt of their insinuations of our purported lateness. I replied, “Oh, were you told to come earlier then? Hmmm….wonder why we were told to come at eight. Maybe they think we shouldn’t eat that much.” When I had the chance, I whispered to Andrew, “Oi, Uncle, I feel like I’m treading in enemy waters, what have you done to them? She’s really sarcastic! Is this what you do in the reporting business???” “Dunno lah, Auntie, they are all like that. Just enjoy your food & don’t give them room to attack you.” Ok, our mode of operation became a story telling session. I couldn’t eat most of the dishes due to my allergy but we had lots of fun sampling other non-pork dishes & sharing backpacking tales. After losing 4.5kg in 5 weeks, I didn’t think the pumpkin soup, salad & salmon steak would do anything to jeopardise my weight management program. My pants fit & I don’t wobble when I walk. That’s all that matters. Pork Jelly Salad - I can't touch this. Pork Knuckle with Bratwurst.....can't touch this at all Salmon Salad! Yummy! Chef Karl Beisl with Roasted Suckling Pig.....I can't touch this. I'm allergic to pork. Another Pork Dish... can't touch this either Osso Bucco Lamb Shank with Pasta - I'm allergic to lamb too. Ah, finally my Salmon Steak with Spinach & Mashed Potatoes!!!

2005-11-24T17:53:00.000+08:00

Breakfast at Ya Kun Kaya Toast, Singapore.

Mars, Venus & Computers

2005-11-24T10:23:00.000+08:00

Barely a bud but two in a stalk becoming one.... Should a “computer" be a masculine or a feminine noun? The men’s group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender, because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic; 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else; 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine because: 1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on; 2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves; 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model. And so they say men are from Mars & we are from Venus but far from that, God has taken us (women) out of the ribs of man so if anything is to go by with this, we are made to be partners living alongside with them. If God had meant for us to be subjected to men, God would have taken a bone from Adam’s feet to create Eve. Then why is it so hard to get along??? To some, perception is reality, what they perceive may not even be what it seems but men compute things using logic far more than we women do because we tend to rely on emotions or the ‘feel’ of things when we compute. To men, the crux is to ‘get the job done.’ To women, ‘when they can deal with their feelings then they’d attempt at the job.’ I’m speaking from a purely personal point of view in my dealings with friends, loved ones & computers. Divemuster told me that marriages are made in heaven but it would take a lifetime of work on earth. How true. In an age where people agree to disagree, holy unions had been defiled by the ways of the world. The world says if a marriage doesn’t work, then there’s no point living in misery. God says, apart from adultery, there should be no grounds for divorce. How does one work towards rebuilding a hope that two people have sworn before God to live in health & sickness, for richer & poorer, till death do they part? Before we even think of marriage, in a time where relationships meant that two people has decided to come together to work out their differences, very often, these are forgotten when one does the building & the other tears it down. Not on purpose but on a different perception of how relationships should be lived out and on the expectations not met. Here again, is where the problem lies as two people from two magnitudes of experiences in the past are coming together to make a future, conflicts & misunderstandings abound especially if one believes that he/she is getting the raw end of the deal by being the giver. Once the question of who gives more comes into the picture, the relationship becomes imbalanced. Tendency of feeling short-changed & taken for granted become a preoccupation & arguments that ensue have no relation to the issue but just a means of lashing out at the receiver. Then when nothing seems to be getting through to either party, one would resort to hit out at the other’s character & personality in order for the person to feel hurt enough to hopefully identify with the grieving party. Anger, bitterness & resentment would be carried over to the life not yet lived. Where will it end? Or shall I say, when will the relationship begin? When anger turns to hatred, no amount of talking will ever improve the status quo. This is where most relationships breakdown. This is when God takes over too. Both vessels are broken. Some, into pieces that may never fit together again. If there is no surrender, God cannot take these broken vessels to be made into clay & remoulded into new vases. Then He puts them through the fire again, to refine them into beautiful porcelain, fit for the use of God’s purpose……

Bag Of Blessing

2005-11-22T01:11:00.000+08:00

My beloved & trusty companion gave up on me. He made such a ruckus that I could not bear it anymore despite many attempts to restore his confidence in my handling. I decided to send him in for a check-up. Tele Dynamics replaced his hard drive & gave me a brand new one which means I would have to spend a great deal of time training & restoring the programs for him to recognise my pattern of usage. My poor little trusty Toshiba laptop…..the tantrums he threw resulted in me not being able to blog for a good fortnight. Now I have to spend more time with him to not let him suffer ‘fatal errors’ anymore. Saga Trees I was in Singapore over the weekend for a seminar. My host, Adrian, invited me to join him & his family to attend this hundred over year old church called St. Andrew’s Cathedral, for the morning worship just before I travelled back to KL yesterday. When I got out of the car, the saga seed on the ground struck my eye. I jumped at the chance to grab it & shouted, “Blessing!!!!” Cindy & her kids thought I was weird & funny at the same time as the entire driveway was lined with saga trees & there were seeds all over the place. What they didn’t know was, I had been looking for the seeds for years since development took away the last remaining saga trees in the places I was familiar with in KL. I had 9 miserable seeds sitting in the stereo panel casing of my car & everyday when I take the panel out, I say a little prayer to ask God for my seeds. And I ask God to take me to the trees to find my seeds. The Red Within I’ve had fondness for these seeds since I was a child but as with all things, they get lost in your quest to grow up & grow out of them. Since 1997, I wanted to pick these seeds again. Then in 2000, I found a tree but no seeds except the 9 seeds that I found. Then I decided to start a collection of all kinds of seeds starting with some fantastic looking rubber seeds! The thought of those saga seeds constantly crept into my mind as they were the reddest & prettiest to me. Then red took on a different meaning since I met Jesus. It symbolised His blood shed for me. For a tree to produce tiny red, hard seeds that burst out of their pods, is something that I still cannot fathom. Look at how majestic looking the tree is. All sprung from that one little hard, red seed. And I couldn’t get any up until now. After the service, I rushed to take a photo of the beautiful stained glass at the pew & proceeded to fields to multiply my collection of the incredibly difficult to find, saga seeds! As I was duck-walking around with Nicole & Matthew, an old lady summoned me to her, “Hey, you! Yes, you! Come here!” *Huh?* Bad enough I was dumbstruck, I walked towards her & before I could say anything, she took out bags of saga seeds that she collected over the years & offered to me, “How many bags do you want? Why don’t you take everything? Give them to whomever you wish, I have lots more.” I thanked her right to the bottom of my heart & said to her that she would never know how much this means to me. Now I have thousands!!! Blessings! “…..I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20 God can speak to you using anyone or anything that is personal to you alone. Though it may be insignificant to anybody else, my pesky saga seeds took years to multiply. It wasn't the result of me going to a Catholic church, nor am I a Catholic but as a result of God coming through at the right moment. After all this time, God has finally given me those impossible saga seeds. I thank Him for His gracious gift through this woman. “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.” Psalm 37:4 – 7 Adrian said that he has been attending this church for 25 years & nobody came to give him anything so this has got to be God’s bag of blessing to me…… Hallelujah.

Eye Spy With My Little Eye...

2005-11-05T16:16:00.000+08:00

Croccodile's Gaze Being Observed

Comment Again Please

2005-10-25T09:51:00.000+08:00

Apologies if your comments are hidden/no longer there as I've reverted to the Blogger comments instead of Haloscan because with a basic account, six months of my earlier comments were deleted without my knowledge. I'm importing them one by one into the comments window....sigh.....So please feel free to comment on ANYTHING & EVERYTHING again!!!

2005-10-23T23:35:00.000+08:00

Perfect Symmetry

Beautiful Chung-Chung I Will Not Be....

2005-10-23T23:22:00.000+08:00

Purposeful colours as a deterrent to predators. I received flowers from Shanghai & greetings from Puerto Galera today. Remarkable distances these places are, yet with the technology of networks & computers, one is able to receive messages from different worlds. And it's nice being thought of. Just when you think you are not appreciated, someone sends flowers & suddenly my day is made. Last night, I was invited to a very pricey dinner at The Olive, Plaza Damas. I told Evie that this was an occasion to dress up for. And so we did. After a day's work at the launch where I mastered the ceremony, we decided to prep ourselves to be seen. Lo and behold, the upstairs of the restaurant was reserved & apart from the five invited guests, four employees & a boss, there was no one to be seen. So much for looking good. My best friend's mom once told me, that I should dress to the nines & look my best even when I'm taking the rubbish out because I might never know if the person who bumps into me, could be a potential husband. I laughed at the thought then & still do. I have strutted out in my pyjamas with my head wrapped up in a wet towel before & I think those whom I met were just too polite to comment. What good is a beautiful creature if it exudes poison to those who touch it? Naturally, people would associate beauty with untouchables. Not that I want to be touched but I certainly would not want to appear toxic to potential 'husbands' as my best friend's mom put it. Good tasting worms usually blend in with their surroundings. Fish loves earthworms. Birds too. So if I have to stay camouflaged to get the bird, then by all means, I'll keep my pyjamas & towel on. What they can't see usually taste better than the visually pleasing ones. I'm not looking for birds but I'm hyping the challenge for birds to look for me!!!!

Said a thousand legged worm, as he began to squirm, Have you seen a leg of mine? If it can't be found, then I'll have to hop around, On my nine hundred ninety nine....

Life Without Regimen

2005-10-19T23:12:00.000+08:00

Cafe Meow - The Unfinished Cat Bag That I Made In My Time Of Despair 3 years ago. The security of a job may bring a stable income but what satisfaction do you derive from it if it’s just a job? Someone told me a long time ago that if you love what you do, you wouldn’t have worked a day in your life. I decided then that my life’s choices would be based upon what I wanted to do rather than for the sake of survival. It was a tough decision to cut back on my spending habits but it allowed me the flexibility of choosing my assignments & what I could to with all the free time on my hands. When God showed me the tasks ahead, I thought I was going to be sent on mission trips. I’ve taken disaster relief & counseling courses to be sent to crisis-stricken areas. I’m still on call should there be a need to go to Pakistan, India or Afghanistan to council children. However, putting myself up for missions of such nature may put a frown on any parent’s face, I may never get to go if it’s not in God’s will that I’m sent. How then, if I have a tremendous desire to serve God in times of adversities? My dad is surely going to smile in heaven knowing that the last time he’d stop me from doing something while I was in my teens, I went out & got published. I’m quite sure if he was around, he would say, “just be careful & think with your coconut before you act.” My mom has got short term memory loss & dementia due to her stroke several years ago. I’m sure she would forget that I went on missions right after I tell her. If I held a 9 to 5 job, I don’t think it would be possible to take off at a moment’s notice. Alright, my setback may be fewer beauty essentials & nail polish, but I get to reach the people & tell them about God’s amazing love! If I get martyred, then I would receive my crown of life & crown of glory on the other side! Okay, the strangest thing is, I’ve been doing without a beauty regimen for three months now to let my skin rest, allowing my freckles to free form & freak out. I have to seriously think about putting some level of protection on myself before I go out. The guy who assisted me in my accident called me ‘aunty’……! In preparation, I have also spent a considerable amount of time with people who meant a lot to me. Those who were there for me in my time of bereavement, those who were grieving the loss of their loved ones & those who needed comfort because they were separated from their loved ones. I believe God had given me similar experiences in my past which helped me empathise with their situation. How else could I explain the circumstances in which I am put to the test? I wouldn’t know where God would send me next, but should I leave, I would have left with many pleasant memories of time spent with them. Surely they must have benefited from the ministry as some has gone on to grow in the Lord, some has healed in the separation & some were reunited & have gone on their way. Whichever way God has used me to be a part of these people’s lives would be forever embedded in my mind. He truly answers prayers. Not everything was smooth sailing. There were many bumps along the long & windy road. At times, there were fog & I couldn’t see. Other times were as clear as day where God wanted me to be. Still, there was no map to show where the road was going & the junction to the final destination was just a step away. The road well-worn may be the easier road to take & most people often choose to take that road but the journey for me is on the road less traveled. As I take my step of faith towards my destiny, I know there will be disappointments I would face along the way with people who can’t share the same faith nor see the light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe if they would take up their cross & follow Him, things might be different..... The greater challenge would be having enough courage to go forward even when you don’t see any directions in spite of making wrong turns. The excitement of having encounters that would take you on another roller coaster ride along the journey of life without regimen. Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Psalm 37:3 – 6.

Getaran Jiwa

2005-10-14T17:14:00.000+08:00

The Legend

Getaran jiwa Melanda hatiku Tersusun nada Irama dan lagu Walau hanya sederhana Tetapi tak mengapa Moga dapat membangkitkan Sedarlah kamu wahai insan. Tak mungkin hilang Irama dan lagu Bagaikan kembang Sentiasa bermadu Andai dipisah Lagu dan irama Lemah tiada berjiwa Hampa

No amount of prevailing good feelings can ever supersede the thoughts that hold a nostalgic person captive. The legendary P.Ramlee was honoured only after death. Had he been alive, he would still be making movies to keep his audience happy with his versatile acting. Would there be any honour to that, you might ask? Only by those who appreciated his talent & contribution perhaps. He never lived to know how much his works meant to the people. Just as there are individuals who were denied of any chance to be made known just because some preferred ones were more established or deemed to be more significant. Having the right looks, passion, aptitude, talent, condition or track record doesn’t guarantee recognition nor awards either. The decision often lies with the producer. Producers usually prefer old & tried hands as predictability ensures better control. A perceived success. What then, if you get passed over by the producer??? Do you stop composing songs, making movies, directing & acting in them & touching lives??? If it’s a part of you that makes you who you are, you will soon learn that the measure of success is not in the awards that you receive but from whom you receive the award. It’s about the journey of getting there. Not the destination. If you have given your all & don’t get what you work so hard for, then work with another producer. The process itself will strengthen you & prepare you for that break in your life. In Tan Sri P. Ramlee’s 44 years of life, he spent 28 years doing what he loved & was only honoured 17 years after he had passed away. You would have to look at his past in the reruns, to understand what he represented but you will never know his potential as he was never given a future. And you will get bored of reruns after awhile. Perhaps we should leave the passed to the past when he ended the last episode. Incidentally, I went to a mamak stall that had portraits of P.Ramlee the night before I made a lucky dip & got this lapel pin given by The Philatelic Society at the post office.

Big Children

2005-10-06T20:21:00.000+08:00

The Canopy Walk Mortality is not something that had a syllabus in school to prepare you for an eventuality of the two, very definite things in life. Death & taxes. I had an accident on Sunday night after a day out at FRIM, conquering my fear of heights by going for the Canopy Walk. I was driving home on a detour to a Victoria’s Secret’s warehouse sale after dinner with friends. I was tired, my legs were wobbly from the climb (possibly from the fear too), I was hot & bothered when all I could find at the sale was an overstock of ‘D’ cups plus lots of ‘under-supported’ bras laid for all to rummage in trays. Whatever happened to the sleepwears & comfort clothes that they advertised on sale too??? I went home feeling very under-sized, of course, never ever will I be able to fit into any ‘D’ cup no matter how much chest exercises I did at the gym. I wish there was a manual of exercising methods for bust-increase during my teens to teach me all that I ever need to try for a ‘D’. I was hit by a car that tried to turn right before her time. My frontal right portion took the brunt of it & not me, thankfully. I didn’t see her coming but something told me to jam on my brakes even though I had the right of way at the cross junction. It could have been the driver’s side to take the impact. I guess my time is not up yet. The first reaction of any sane person would be to shout high heavens on the culprit who damaged your car but mine was a very simple statement, “Lady, do you know you could have killed me? Couldn’t you wait?” The lady in question started to hurl accusations at me & got defensive of her ‘rightful’ way but I just couldn’t be bothered. There should be a manual for road behaviour. I haven’t had an accident that was my fault for a decade. I could hear someone trying to calm my nerves with a comforting voice. It was from a Malay gentleman who stopped behind me almost immediately after the accident to prevent cars ramming me from behind. He kept reassuring me that I will be okay & not to be afraid. He told me what to do. And he stated that I would not be in the wrong because we had the right of way. He handed me a card as soon as I repositioned my car away from blocking traffic & he works at a car workshop. He didn’t even solicit for the business. Coincidence or what? I was really glad that he had been there as I was in shock & the first person I tried to call was my dad……..who incidentally, has passed away two months ago. I started crying. No, I’m never a cry baby but from the non-crying at the funeral till now, it has sunken in. Daddy’s not around to help me anymore. Anyway, I drove myself to the police station to lodge a report. I wish there was a manual for police report procedures after an accident. Divemuster offered to be with me but Moggie got to me by then. Everything seems to NOT matter to me anymore. I was faced with the eventuality of death. I was not afraid but I was jolted from the menial issues that seem to have taken priority in my life of late. I have also neglected certain things that needed attention. I’m one of those who would read instruction manuals of any gadgets that I buy from page to page to find out exactly how an appliance works. My students have very often, passed me their manuals for digital cameras, pdas, dive computers & even softwares to read so that I would be able to teach them how to use their toys. When we were in school, we had teachers to guide us to do the right thing. Some would take interest in your character development too. When we leave school, we make friends with people from the outside world. You would encounter some bad types, some good types & some types that you know would last a lifetime. They become the building block for relationships & inadvertently mould you into what you are today. In other words, friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, colleagues, bosses & clients have a part to play in building your character in the way you handle each relationship with them. What if you didn’t have good friends/boy/girlfriends/colleagues/bosses/clients? Would that experience carry weight in your relationship in the future? I spent the last three years on my own to rediscover myself with God & people around me whom I loved. We have books for everything from self-help to relationship guides, the art of selling to the art of looking good but what about a manual of interactions with every individual who crosses your path in your lifetime??? Now that we are adults, who are our teachers? How do you relate to someone what you have gone through without making the person feel inadequate? The closest thing I have found is obviously in the word of God but I’m still learning how to get by with individuals who test you to the limits. It is like having an accident daily feeling like a big child.

Little People

2005-09-27T16:19:00.000+08:00

Passion Flower - one look & you love it, like little children... Autism is a pervasive developmental disorder that affects one in every five hundred children. It is characterised by varying degrees of impairment in communication skills, social interactions, and restricted or repetitive and stereotyped patterns of behaviour. In the pre-school that I teach in during the first half of the days, I’ve had the opportunity to interact with children with special needs. Somehow, the integration of these special children with normal children of differing learning abilities seem to work really well to raise the awareness of such need to accept special kids into society. On my first day at the school, I spent a lot of time playing with 2 – 6 year olds, noticing the very apparent characteristics differences in the two genders. The little boys would make toy guns out of Lego blocks while the little girls would play house & masak-masak! In the centre, English is the only medium of communication. Autistic children love backrubs. They would come to me for hugs, would stroke my hair sometimes but mostly my shirt or arm. Some don’t like contact at all. I thought it would be good to learn about their abilities & development in my term break as the monsoon season approaches. My friend said to me, ‘Aha! You’re stealing kisses from toddlers again?’ …..{{sheepish grin}}……Heheheh! Where would I get to do that otherwise? To have little kids plonk themselves on your lap & get unlimited cuddles in the process is truly great! Having to read all the nursery rhymes & fairy tales to them while they listen to your voice & diction is something that is so nice. All my life as an adult, I’ve had kids who are total strangers, follow me or grab my leg. During one community project in Redang two years ago, two kids, one boy & girl about 3 – 4 years old, stumbled upon me as I was walking back to my chalet. They were crying in pain. One look at them & I could tell that they suffered severe sunburn. They were siblings. Their faces were as red as lobsters & their parents were nowhere to be seen. I took each one by the hand & led them to my room, stripped them down & watered them with cold water. By then they were screaming. Someone had alerted their mother to go to my room. When she arrived, I asked her to bring some clothes for them while I applied aloe vera gel on them. There was an instant silence when the gel cooled their burnt skin. The little boy began to talk to me, asking questions & constantly flashing a big smile at me for the pleasant treatment he had received. From that second onward, this little boy didn’t let go of my hand. My group of divers saw my new ‘attachment’ & immediately commented that I should change jobs! This boy will undoubtedly grow up to be a big heartthrob. He looked me in the eye as he held my hand in the way that he liked to be held, flashing me that great, big smile again. So this 3 year old boy, became my boyfriend for the entire trip, warding off ‘get-freshers’ & unwanted advances from males with raging hormones….thank God for little children....I can’t wait for another day at the pre-school to play with little people & play a part in grooming them for the world. Little Weed Flowers are beautiful except that they are often overlooked because they are insignificant to society like how autistic children are perceived....

2005-09-25T17:16:00.000+08:00

A Trip In Time...

Chilling Experience

2005-09-12T19:52:00.000+08:00

Dawn of a new day.... Off a lonely & almost deserted road, lies a magnificent falls, that becomes a wonder to visitors who trek the almost 2 kilometres way in, surviving the temptation to soak in every pool of the cascade as they do. Though city bumpkins like me fare better underwater than in the tropical rainforest, I couldn’t be more excited at the opportunity of discovering new bugs, butterflies & bumble bees…! The entrance of the trail is situated at N 03°35.699’ E 101°44.130’ approximately 52km from KL. This is not Jimny but Jack... Wild Orchid along the path... Ants At Work The journey to Kuala Kubu Baru began at 7:10am at the Sungai Buloh Bridge rest stop where Ladyhawk fed me with turkey ham sandwiches! Mothers always know what’s best! Divemuster was our beloved guide, giving me the names to the butterflies I had managed to capture in my lens. When we got to the entrance, I was bowled over by the pitcher plants & freaky flowers that mark the path to the splendid falls. Theoretically we have four photographers & two teenagers. Realistically, we have one guide, one candid shooter, one subject of bugs’ interest, one eager beaver whinger (*are we there yet? are we there yet?*……. *pout* *pout*) & two young porters cum Bollywood actors wannabe. Great! All-in-one adventure to somewhere where I can conquer my trepidation of spiders & creepy crawlies plus a chance to swim with fresh water fish! How They Look Like Above Sea Level Walk across.... Divemuster would lead & Ladyhawk sometimes takes over but most times, we are all spread out along the path shooting subjects that would cooperate & stay still. What was a 1-hour trek stretched an extra 45 minutes (I think because I was enjoying myself so much, I didn’t care about the time) before we got to the 20metre falls. The moss & lichen that was spread over rocks & surfaces were such interesting takes that I would love to dedicate another day to shoot them. Moggie was shooting toadstools & fungus & the occasional mushroom that popped through the mass of dead leaves & ferns. Divemuster said the elves played drums on them. Elves or not, I did not want to sprawl out on the ground because I have a rip in my cargo pants at my bum! Heaven forbids if the convoy fainted when they caught glimpse of my….ahem…..behind. It didn’t help that my fly kept opening at its own will but I knew I had my bikini underneath so if they saw me constantly fidgeting, I’m sure they would forgive me….. Five Bar Swordtail Curl before the show...
Another swordtail... Morning light at Sungai Chilling I was jabbed on both sides by branches & had several run-ins with fallen tree trunks that were visually ‘hidden’ by my golf visor. I didn’t think it was funny when protruding objects threaten to whip my butterfly clip off my hair or catch my backpack…! Apparently Moggie doesn’t feel so. With each crossing & stooping over, he anticipated the holler of ‘AIYAAK!’ & just couldn’t stop making fun……bad hair day, bad hair day. Almost there.... As soon as we survived the obstacle course, there was the sight to behold. Amazing how God had stored this place away from civilisation & man discovering it at 318 metres above sea level. The 20metre plunge! The wind goes toward the south, and it turns around to the north; it whirls around continually; and the wind returns on its circuits. All the rivers run into the sea; yet the sea is not full; to the place from where the rivers come, there they return again. All things are full of labour; man cannot utter it; the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing. That which has been is that which shall be; and that which has been done is that which shall be done; and there is nothing new under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 1:6 – 9) There is no memory of former things, and also no memory of after things which shall be; for neither shall be a remembrance of them with those who will be at the afterwards. (Ecclesiastes 1:11) What is crooked cannot be made straight; and that lacking cannot be numbered. (Ecclesiastes 1:15) And I gave my heart to know wisdom and to know madness and folly; I know that this also is vexation of spirit. (Ecclesiastes 1:17) For in much wisdom is much grief; and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow. (Ecclesiastes 1:18, the words of the preacher, son of David, king of Jerusalem) It is true that there is a time for everything, and that everything is “beautiful in its time.” It is also true that ideas of infinity are in men's minds, ideas which they can neither get rid of nor fully comprehend. Here are tokens of God, who has established an infinite order. If we understood His ways better, that might unravel our perplexities. And if God is, immortality may be, and the solution of our problems may lie in that direction. Pool of Wonder

Love Your Enemy

2005-09-09T16:00:00.000+08:00

Beautiful But Deadly If you think loving your neighbour is easy, I would say loving your enemy is easier. Just love to hate the person who causes you strife, plot to avenge the deed, desire to slap them, punch them, sock ‘em, deck ‘em & knock the daylights out of them till you are satisfied that they are almost dead, wouldn’t that be easier? Sadly, I didn’t think that’s what God had in mind when He asked me to ‘love my enemies.’ Hatred gives birth to a multitude of misdeeds which breed like cancer in our system causing us to constantly think about how to return the pain inflicted upon us. What’s worse is when the enemy was one of your closest friends. I remember when I was a fat pudgy kid, other kids used to make fun of me. Somehow, I grew up not so pudgy & they stopped. Taunting can’t be considered as bad. Not as bad as harassment caused by motive-driven individuals. An enemy is a person who hates somebody & acts or speaks against somebody. The unseen enemies are those who speak badly of you even when they do not know you. I know of a few. Their ultimate intention is to make you look bad so that they would look & feel better. Many a time, their contentions are baseless & far from the truth. In this sense, malice or no malice intended, still inflict some kind of damage to the individual target concerned. Sometimes, they appear to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing with the intention of getting close to you to mill information out of you, the life you lead & the people you hang around with only to use it against you when the opportunity rises. Jealousy can spark some pretty nasty doing in people who are insecure about themselves. Some would even go to the extent of calling your circle of friends to start spreading wild fire about how you got your achievements. I remember a time when the rumour circulated about me in the business world that I was sleeping my way to the top. Many who knew me laughed their heads off because I mainly worked with women bosses & eventually, my partners in the interior decorating business were females. The extent people would go just to tear you down is so callous & imagine had I been working with males instead. I’d be guilty until proven innocent! But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return. And your reward shall be great, and you shall be the sons of the Highest. For He is kind to the unthankful and to the evil. (Luke 6:35) Mind you, the language in which they use to refer to me is far from civil. I’ve been called names that you would not say in front of a kid & truly, I CAN BE ALL OF THAT IF I’D WANTED TO. And these are caused by the enemies who are unseen, what about the enemies who are known to you & you have to live with them? The kind of situation which I really despised was when I was told what to do by my ex’s mother. That I had to cook, clean, wash & reproduce if I were to marry her son. If that wasn’t bad enough, she said that I had to convert to become a Buddhist if I want to marry him! My response to her then was, ‘Aunty, I’m not going to deny Christ just because your son wants me to marry him. If you think I’m not good enough then it’s better that you marry your son yourself!’ They launched an offensive on me ever since & my ex had a tough time trying to make both parties see eye to eye. I wasn’t going to make him choose between flesh & blood & me so I graciously bowed out. My ex & I remain friends to this day. My other ex, was working with his father & when he found out that my ex became a Christian, he went out of his way to get me out of his son’s life. He withheld his sales commission in the company for fear that he might buy a house elsewhere & live apart from the family. He bought him an RM1.2million dollar house instead. He started telling people what an unworthy profession I am in as a dive instructor, not honourable enough to be with his son & made me feel so inadequate & small. He went all out to hurt me for his son had loved me more than he loved his tyrant father. The final straw came when he conspired with my ex’s junior secretary to seduce my ex. The same way he had an affair of 21 years with his secretary. Again, I forgave both of them & moved on. Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you shall be forgiven. (Luke 6:37) Give, and it shall be given to you, good measure pressed down and shaken together and running over, they shall give into your bosom. For with the same measure that you measure, it shall be measured to you again. (Luke 6:38) What if the enemy in question is a fellow Christian? What if this person has a problem with you & causes strife between you & others? What if this person takes on upon oneself to be a moral police in the name of Jesus, insinuating things that could hurt so many parties just because this person had been left out due to numerous occasions as demonstrated in the past? What if the detrimental things that proceeded from this person’s mouth cannot be retracted despite whatever apologies that may come after? What if this person does not want to be helped despite having people around them who would put up with so much till they can do no more? The biblical principles of Matthew 18:15 – 18 would have to apply in this instance.... But if your brother shall trespass against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. (Matthew 18:15) But if he will not hear you, take one or two more with you, so that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. (Matthew 18:16) And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he neglects to hear the church, let him be to you as a heathen and a tax-collector. (Matthew 18:17) Truly I say to you, Whatever you shall bind on earth shall occur, having been bound in Heaven; and whatever you shall loose on earth shall occur, having been loosed in Heaven. (Matthew 18:18) For a good tree does not bring forth corrupt fruit, neither does a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. (Luke 6:43) For every tree is known by its own fruit. For men do not gather figs from thorns, nor do they gather grapes from a bramble bush. (Luke 6:44) A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth the good. And an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth the evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. (Luke 6:45) And why do you call Me Lord, Lord, and do not do what I say? (Luke 6:46) Whoever comes to Me and hears My Words, and does them, I will show you to whom he is like. (Luke 6:47) He is like a man who built a house and dug deep and laid the foundation on a rock; and a flood occurring, the stream burst against that house and could not shake it; for it was founded on a rock. (Luke 6:48) But he who hears and does not perform, is like a man who built a house on the earth without a foundation, on which the stream burst, and immediately it fell. And the ruin of that house was great. (Luke 6:49) If by the sheer fact that the person’s spouse does not want to be responsible for the acts of one’s spouse in question, then as brothers & sisters in Christ, I have to leave it to the church to deal with the situation. It no longer becomes a problem when one does not want to take steps to recover & advance but to repeatedly torture the people around them. I accept & forgive this person & ask God to forgive me if I have transgressed in the manner in which I dealt with the situation then. In loving the enemy, I choose to release my anger, bitterness, resentment & hatred towards anybody that would cause me to lose my relationship with God as it creates a gorge as deep as the earth to the sky. I choose to surrender the things that I cannot deal with, not by my strength but by God’s strength. It does not make me a better Christian than the transgressor but it makes me wiser to the schemes of the real ENEMY who uses everyone to steal, kill & destroy……relationships included. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the world's rulers, of the darkness of this age, against spiritual wickedness in high places. (Ephesians 6:12)

2005-08-31T11:37:00.000+08:00

The Night Before Independence Day!

Love Your Neighbour

2005-08-29T10:32:00.000+08:00

It’s been mentioned ten times in the Bible about this & something that’s repeated so often must mean something. I used to have a problem with ‘loving my enemies’ because no one in their right mind can love someone they hate or strongly dislike/disapprove of. I must have been one sad person in the past because I had many enemies. Not those who would draw their swords & daggers on you, but those whom I’ve regrettably offended & hurt in my in-your-face statements. I may have been right at that time but it doesn’t excuse me from the wrong of destroying another person’s dignity, pride & personality. Loving my neighbour was easy, or so I thought…. B. had been my mentor & big brother-figure since I was 17 years old. He is 9 years my senior. He taught me things in business & the working world when nobody could be bothered. He also taught me about humanity & goodness. B. & his childhood friends were great pals who loved animals. There was a time when he & his best friend, M., had to ‘Jus’ (a challenge of hand signals) to determine who’s car to use to carry a maggot-infested wounded stray dog to the vet. 15 years on & they still have the dog. M. is now a successful entrepreneur yet he still managed to answer my calls of distress when we had to rescue a puppy in the monsoon drain in Subang Jaya where I had to abseil down the high walls to reach the site. Forty five minutes into the rescue & running 1 kilometre inside the drain later, the puppy was caught & was brought to a happier place. Knowing that we stood for a common cause gave me a lot of assurance in our friendship. When boyfriends are no longer there for me, they were. In fact, everyone I dated had to have the ‘seal of approval’ & they would make it known to me if they didn’t make the mark. They didn’t want me to get hurt by philandering lovers, promiscuous partners & such. There was a time when all B. heard from me was my heartache over boyfriend problems. In fact, there were three relationships in which I made B. my shoulder to cry on. For hours. To me, my problem seemed so great then. I had always thought that if I went to a mentor with my problems, he would be able to make me feel better. I didn’t want a solution, I wanted NOT to feel bad. His philosophies had lifted me beyond my heartaches & many a time, I would end the conversation in awe. He was my Bandaraya (town council’s rubbish collector). I grew up knowing a brother whom I never had. I never looked up to anyone this much. My dad loved him too. For a person of his stature, he’s already got it made, with an apartment at Bangsar, properties everywhere, a Mercedes Sports car among his other vehicles, a business with over a hundred employees, a life of revelry, women, fine wine & dining & charity work. What more could he want? He’s so giving & thoughtful that he doesn’t miss anyone’s birthday. All the while I thought he had a fantastic lifestyle. Then it came crashing down. His made wrong business decisions. He was in debt. He sold his properties including the apartment that he was dwelling in & all the furniture & appliances therein. He even had to sell all his clothes. He was hitting rock bottom & there was nothing I could do. He had to move into the place I shared with my girlfriend, who happens to be the girl he was going out with, for several months before he & his girlfriend rented a place of their own. For once, the tables were turned. He was way into depression & was on prescription at the time. As I spoke to him, I realised something I had missed all these years. As much as he had been my shoulder to cry on all these years, I haven’t been a single ounce of help to him at all. I was always the victim of circumstances & not wanting to take responsibility for my actions. In short, I was not tackling my problems at all because it became a vicious cycle that B. had to point out many times. I was so overwhelmed by my own preoccupation that I’d missed the opportunity to be a friend to the person who meant so much to me. Then I also realised that I don’t know him at all. There were so many things that he did that could never be out in the open & is now suffering the consequences. Things that shocked me beyond believe & I didn’t know what to say or do. His debts ran into millions to the point I questioned his morality. Although I was appalled at the things that he did, I still wanted to help him. There was nothing I can do to help apart from pray. He may have done wrong lawfully, but by harping at the problem of how he could have done this & that instead is POINTLESS. He needed to come to come to terms with God to seek for an answer that no man would be able to give. I just had to love the sinner, not his sins. For the first time, loving my neighbour was tested. I thought, how would I be able to love him as myself? He did so much that I despised. When I was down, he didn't judge me nor shun me. How do I begin to offer support so that he wouldn't slip further into depression that I would lose the only mentor to me? So I thought of being in his shoes & what he’d enjoy. I cooked them dinner! I made him feel accepted & let him know that I was praying for his situation. I ran his errands for him since both he & his girlfriend had to work long hours in the day to make another business work to pay off the debts. I basically did whatever I could to alleviate his problem. How did I manage to accept a person whom I so look up to, a person who’s ever ready to offer a hand in my problems, a person who embodied strength, confidence & humility(in some ways), a person with wisdom & knowledge of the world who fell from grace??? I extended the grace that I received from God to encompass him & his wrongdoings. I accepted humanity. He did that for me once upon a time. That's what I learnt from B., who was put in my path to teach me things that I would put into practice one day. He made me see what Jesus came to die for. You & me. …and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength." This is the first commandment. (Mark 12:30) And the second is like this: You shall love your neighbour as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these. (Mark 12:31) And the scribe said to Him, Right, Teacher, according to truth You have spoken, that God is one, and there is no other besides Him. (Mark 12:32) And to love Him with all the heart, and with all the understanding, and with all the soul, and with all the strength, and to love the neighbour as himself, is more than all the burnt offerings and sacrifices. (Mark 12:33)

Thoughts Run Rife, So I Chase Butterflies...

2005-08-25T13:39:00.000+08:00

I’m tucked under the comforts of my security blanket. One that’s bought in a pasar malam at Damansara Uptown. Thoughts run rife as I scamper to put a piece of story that would make a mark in the air on board all of MAS’ international fleet. Writer’s block? What a myth. This block comes from the refusal to write or the lethargy of penning down thoughts. I brought along my little notebook & pen but haven’t used it yet despite many reminders. What did it was when I was going down the hill for breakfast, I bumped into my chief editor, who happens to live on my block. I gave him a lift. He was concerned that he’s not seen me around nor my articles for some time & he wondered if I was ok. So I gave him my story & a promise to churn something up for next month’s publication. Now I’m fried. I haven’t thought of what angle to write for the lifestyle & travel articles yet. I had been too caught up in making myself feel good amidst the storm in my life that I had overlooked the stories I was suppose to work on. What to do. I’d been to FRIM & got rained out. So I thought of going to the world’s largest butterfly park at Lake Gardens instead. If you whip out your Malaysian ID., you would get the ‘local’s’ rate of RM5.00 entrance fee instead of paying the full tourists’ fare of RM15.00! Ah, being a Malaysian has its’ privileges! You don’t ask you don’t get. I paid an extra RM1.00 for my camera’s admission too. It has been a long time since I came here & this park has truly changed into something you wouldn’t want to miss. The foreigners were trickling in & somehow, photographers have an unwritten code of ethics that when you are on a subject, the next person would have to wait in line to take the shot. Language was no barrier for the Middle Eastern visitors while taking pictures as we were enthralled by the flitting butterflies even as we compose shots. As soon as they spot one, they would signal to me to take it & I would do likewise. It was like a universal code that photographers uphold anywhere! Butterflies seem to be dancing & fluttering around & around as they prepare to mate. All but a 7-day lifespan, so how exciting can it be for a butterfly if it doesn’t grow out of the cocoon & grow up quickly to find a mate? I actually wonder if I’ll ever get to see the rare ones again if the stupid butterfly decides to have a bad hair day & refuse to mate! Gosh, get a Panadol, butterfly, I want to see you again! I have to wait &; wait & wait for them to land & take a shot, sometimes hoping that they would stop fluttering when they feed. God is amazing. He puts butterflies in my path to let me learn that patience is not only a virtue but part of the FRUIT of the SPIRIT, Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Gentleness, Faith, Goodness, Meekness, Self Control. Galatians 5:22-23

2005-08-17T15:24:00.000+08:00

The Bald & The Beautiful

2005-08-17T13:21:00.000+08:00

Silhouette of Fern

A Day In FRIM

2005-08-15T18:56:00.000+08:00

A Day In FRIM Moth On Display Mood... Framing the Flower..... Close-up of a tiny flower on a tree. Guess what compromising position I used for this hard-to-reach spot??? Then look at this 2cm moth that came a visit! Snow in FRIM?

Garden of Spiders, Superheroes & Salads Part 2

2005-08-10T01:48:00.000+08:00

Dr. Luv is a saviour of sorts. From jungle plants salvaged from destruction of man to the creepy crawlies that are housed within those plants to monkeys shot by poachers & city bumpkins from eating a grasshopper alive. He was a man of dedication, to his love of nature & love of people. I was almost afraid of losing what I’d learnt when I began to converse with him in Japanese. I realised I had forgotten so much vocabulary that I had to think three times before I could form a sentence so we began to say words. He would teach & I would repeat. I told him our Japanese conversation over tea time would be perfect with Ubi Balls. “What?!?” he asked. “Umi balls?” “Ubi balls, doc, you must try those ubi balls!” I said in between, often getting distracted by the birds that visit his garden.

Rama Rama, the other magnanimous man who scaled Mount Everest, took me & 18 other Japanese folks for a reforestation exercise. Only this time, it was fertilising the planted trees that we had to do. Wow, no one told me I had to climb this Mount Brinchang to get to the site. And there I thought I was to trek into the jungle with all it’s creepy splendour……boy, was I mistaken. I huffed & puffed all the way up only to be greeted by lily fields. Totally unnatural. Apparently, a farmer illegally cleared acres of the jungle to make way for these lilies whose buds were highly sought after by Taiwanese & Japanese. In the heydays, it used to fetch RM30 per kg. REACH managed to report them, charge them in court (would you believe they were only fined RM500???) & wrestled the land back for reforestation. As a result, Rama Rama is constantly threatened. On my way down, someone had smashed the rear screen of his Land Rover parked at the foothill.Talk about being in constant battle.

Up Close With Butterfly in Mt. Brinchang

I asked Uncle George, a REACH volunteer who brought us there in his Toyota Unser, if he could stop by the market where I could get my Ubi Balls. The three Japanese participants hopped out with me to browse too. I bought three packs of ubi balls each for Uncle George, Dr. Luv & our ‘entourage.’ Oh boy, fried sweet potato balls taste great in cool weather! Once back at Dr. Luv’s garden, I set out to find stuff. His elderberry tree attracts all kinds of robins, bulbuls & parrots! The myriad of rare orchids are intertwined in his trees & hunting for them proved to be a great challenge. I would stumble upon spiders, caterpillars, aphids & ants with legs longer than my lashes. Knowing this, I presumed that no pesticides nor insecticides had been used so I asked him if I could eat the plants. Oh, everything looked delicious. Apple blossom, orange blossom, gardenia, nasturtiums…..nothing ever looked tastier!

Nasturtium Leaf

Nasturtium Flower

Was it the weather or just me? So after taking this shot, I ate it. The flower book says I can. I ate the flower too. Yummy. He decided to feed me before I decimated his garden. “Can I eat that, Doc?” At that point, I was about to pluck everything out until I saw Spiderman!!!

Spiderman

Spiderman's Sibling

Spiderman's Side Kick

Spiderman's Cousin

Spiderman's Predecessor!

He plucked some herbs out for me & I took some but just as I was about to chomp, a grasshopper flew out onto Doc’s arm! Eeewww! Thanks Doc! Maggots were bad enough, now grasshoppers too???

Hopper On Dr.'s Arm

I thought the orchids looked funny. They had ‘faces’ on them. With the top resembling the hood of Batman & the petals, the cape, I knew straight away that Dr. Luv is host to a great collection of Marvel characters in his garden!

Orange Batman Orchid

Red Batman Orchid

Purple Batman Orchid

Taking out a bottle of Chardonnay, we knocked on his neighbour’s house, who happens to be a Japanese by the way, to get some cheese! Before long, Fukiyasan took out the world’s best homemade marmalade from the oranges of his tree!!!!

Marmalade Complemented it with the most fantastic tasting plain yoghurt of all time. Having wine, Swiss Cheese, yoghurt & marmalade with butter shortbread outside in the open surrounded by flowers, trees & great company in 18 degrees weather is life. Knowing that in the highlands, the guardians who wage war against water polluters & farmers who rape the jungle, are the real superheroes whose extraordinary efforts deserve special mention.

Garden Of Booby Traps Part 1

2005-08-08T12:29:00.000+08:00

Bamboo Shoot in Agent Bitten's Garden Agent Bitten epitomises the true man of the jungle, a walking encyclopaedia of jungle plants, flowers, animals & insects PLUS the inherent ability of getting bitten by lizards & snakes, stung by bees & attacked by squirrels that get personal. Oh yes. I had the privilege of being in his nursery of flora, fauna & fearsome dog, Brownie, which had ticks falling off him everywhere he went. I was told not to run or he'll bite. His huge garden was something I’d envision of keeping when I retire & as I treaded around for subjects to shoot, his deceptively well kept garden threatened to swallow city bumpkins like me, with foliage-covered holes & grooves that only Brownie could dodge. Shaken, but not stirred, I tried not to let my own scream prevent me from traversing further into the lush of the trees within. PINK GUAVAS! Hundreds of juicy, succulent, ripe pink guavas on the ground!!! Orchid in Agent Bitten's

“Can I pick up & eat???”

Agent Bitten replied, “No, you can’t eat those. The stupid squirrels had taken a bite off those & flung them to the ground. Pick them from the tree.”

(Huh? How do I pick them when they are sky high?)

With much pestering, Moggie plucked two off the tree using his tripod just so that he could get back to photo taking. I washed them in the nearby tap & do what any normal human being would do when they hold two juicy, pink guavas in their hand, chomp on it. AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHH……! The guava was spat out & the remaining fruit was flung towards Agent Bitten. Maggots. Pttooooi….blech...yuck. Another booby trap. Then Agent Bitten told me that I had to break the fruit apart to check first before I ate. Fine. I’m from the city, remember???

Blooms in Agent Bitten's We proceeded to pluck four more & every time I broke them, there were maggots!!! So I gave them to his pet monkey, Bobo, instead. Bobo was saved from poachers that shot her & Dr. Luv & Agent Bitten nursed it to adulthood. Hmmm..... Cacti in Agent Bitten's He showed us orchids, pitcher plants & fly traps that he’d cultivated & salvaged from the jungle. As we trotted into the nursery, we had an avalanche of pink guavas, pelted at us, apparently by the squirrel aiming at Brownie, avenging the murder of another squirrel. I felt as if we were engaging in battle with invisible enemies, though we can't really fight back, because they are obviously smarter than city bumpkins. The whole place is a trap! Fiery Orchid Truce! I only came to shoot plants, not to get involved with territorial supremacy wars. Where in the world would you get this kind of animal vs human action if at all, it should happen? Right here in Cameron Highlands, where the community never sleeps. REACH, a community based organisation with likeminded volunteers, are set to blow your mind away with their lives, their causes & the place where they live in. Plenty Of Life In Agent Bitten's Sundew - This carnivorous plant is only about 4cm in diameter & traps flies/insects with the dewlike sticky substance on its spatulas. Scientific name is Drocella spatulata.

2005-08-04T01:46:00.000+08:00

Tiny Flowers

2005-08-04T01:40:00.000+08:00

Food For Hopper

2005-08-01T12:15:00.000+08:00

The Sun Will Not Set Till We Meet Again

Absence

2005-07-31T09:05:00.000+08:00

Celebration & Rejoicing Of A New Life! This is for my eldest sister, Patricia & her family, who couldn't be with us due to the distance. I know they are trying to cope with lost time & opportunity to be with my dad in person but they rest in the assurance that he is in a better place & having a wonderful time. A relative, Lawrence, whom I've not seen before (then again, we have 200+ from granddad's 15 siblings, where do we even begin?) told us of daddy's magnanimous self of assisting him more than 30 years ago.I was so touched. Everything happened so fast & we really didn't give much opportunity for most, to give their last respects because of constraints so we apologise if we have caused anyone grief in doing so. I can't bear seeing my sister, Pauline cry. She had so much lost time & opportunity despite living under one roof with him. For me, to live is Christ, to die is gain. Being apart made me appreciate the time spent, no matter how little it had been. Daddy stroked my hair when I woke up from an afternoon nap on the couch. I was groggy. Knowing that no matter how old you are, you are still a child in your parents' eyes. That is a comforting thought. I wish I had more naps for daddy to stroke my hair some more!!! Oh well, it hasn't sunk in yet as I've got to go & collect his ashes & bones after church today. I know this journey has to be completed before I can move on & my association has sponsored several Reefballs for an Eternal Reef for daddy so that I can memorialise him forever! Pastor Ronnie Conducting The Service Pastor Yeoh Led In Hymns... We Worshipped....... James Delivering Eulogy Sending Daddy Off With Flowers For The Final Healing Process! Last Respects by Pastor Ronnie & Pastor Yeoh Till I See You Again... Sending Daddy On His Journey...

Daddykins

2005-07-30T00:21:00.000+08:00

Daddykins If ever there was a picture of strength, my dad was it. Who wouldn’t be strong if he had to wrestle & deal with a menagerie of 4 dogs, 17 cats, a tigress (my mother) & 3 chimpanzees (us siblings) at home? He taught us how to love by instilling the responsibility of caring for our pets. When I was a toddler, Dad used to promise us a rabbit everyday but the rabbit would somehow get away. We would look forward to the next day in hope of him catching one for us but he always got wild boars, flying foxes, deers, pigeons & what not instead. He was a hunter. They say real men hunt. Not only does he hunt, he used to have target practice at the shooting range & shot his way to represent Malaysia in all the SEA Games, Asian Games & Commonwealth Games between 1978 – 1989. We tagged along during his practices & made do with whatever things that we could do to amuse ourselves at the shooting range. Pauline & I were highly sociable. We would get into fights if we didn’t have other kids to take our attention away. Patricia was away in the States, studying. Dad would teach us to have the fighting spirit. Not fight people, as I had to find out the hard way, but to always fight for what I want. He wanted us to excel in whatever we do. I wanted to be like him because he was good at everything he did. He was also the first team of four to have won the Putra Cup in golf tournaments. He was a scratch handicapper. We took all his medals that he had won to play masak-masak because we didn’t really know the significance of the win that had done the country proud for all those years. Daddy didn’t mind. He was delighted that it was coveted by his daughters. He also holds the record for swimming in his school at Victoria Institution. Look what I’ve become, daddy, a dive instructor! Much of what I am, I’d like to believe, came from him. He had such a sense of humour. When we struggled to speak difficult English words at home, he would remind us not to “murder the English language.” Seeing that we had tons of Reader’s Digest, we were driven to improve by grinding in ‘It Pays To Enrich Your Word Power’ column in every issue. Look what I’ve become again, daddy, a travel writer! For all the times I’ve had to update him to update mom, I knew he would be able to keep a secret for all the crazy things I didn’t want mom to know. Like scuba diving. And my dad would practice ‘selective synopsis’ to relate to mom what’s up with their most rebellious child. Either that or they would read about me in the newspapers days after! Still, as much as he was curious to ask, he would always allow me to bring up any matter when I was ready. What a dad. I was a pesky kid. My sisters called me a nuisance. I wasn’t potty trained until I was seven & didn’t wean off the baby bottle until I was eleven because dad never made me do what I wasn’t prepared to do. Hahaha! Pauline & I would fight for prime space during night time. On my dad’s lap. When we outgrew that, we still didn’t stop holding onto his hand wherever we went. He told us stories of his childhood & we would pester him again & again to tell us about his pet pig. And he would tell us over & over again. Having a dad who could tell stories & not tire of it is so cool because it makes you want to tell people stories too. Dad, look what you made me do? When I grew up, I began to tell him stories. When he got older, I showed him pictures too. And guess what? After that, he would want the bible read out to him. I told him about the greatest love story in history. About our Lord Jesus Christ who came into the world to die for our sins. And that we can have a personal relationship with Him & live forever & ever in His mansion which incidentally, has a room for my dad. I told him that Jesus said, “I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH & THE LIFE, nobody goes to the FATHER except by ME.” Though my dad knew of Christ, he never knew God until he made a conscious decision to invite Jesus into his life. That was 2 years ago. Then, I was putting on weight & he was losing a lot. So I told him that we would get new bodies when we reach heaven. I wished for a Pamela Andersen-body! Dad? Dad just wished for any body!!! A month ago, he told me he felt at peace. He was ready to go. I asked him if he wanted me to do anything before he left & he said, “take care of your mummy. Don’t get married if you don’t want to, but if you do, make sure he’s like me.” Then I asked, “Will you shoot him if he’s not?” Now that he got to meet Jesus in person first, all I want to say is, “Daddy, we love you & miss you dearly. If you are free, please go & catch those rabbits & wait for us to come & chat with you…..for eternity.” Funeral Service will be held on 30 July 2005, 10:00am at PJ Modern Casket, Parlour 7, Jalan 229, Petaling Jaya.

Giant Clam & The Algae Within

2005-07-27T11:41:00.000+08:00

Giant Clam & The Algae Within When scientists & marine biologists mention symbiosis, one can only begin to fathom the relationship between two different living creatures that live close together & depend on each other in particular ways, each getting particular benefits from the other in order to survive. How far you can fathom this feat depends upon what you see & sometimes even what you experience. If you have seen a giant clam in the wild (seabed), you will know how beautiful it is. We all know about Nemo’s relationship with anemone but we seldom hear of giant clams. They are considered ‘vulnerable’ species & listed as protected under the CITES trade. This enormous shellfish is the largest and heaviest of all the living molluscs (Tridacna spp.). Like all bivalve molluscs the shell consists of two valves, although in the larger giant clams these cannot close completely. The shell is extremely thick and lacks bony plates; when viewed from above, each valve has 4 to 5 inward facing triangular projections. The mantle of the clam is visible between the two shells, and is golden brown or yellow or green, although it may contain so many blue or purple spots that the overwhelming impression is of a beautiful iridescent colour. A number of pale or clear spots on the mantle, which are known as 'windows,’ function to allow sunlight to filter in through the mantle. With this light, the minute algae called zooxanthellae living in the mantle, photosynthesises & secretes a waste that becomes food for the giant clam! The mantle is completely fused with the exception of two holes (or 'siphons'); the inhalant siphon is fringed with sensory tentacles, whilst the exhalent siphon is tube-like and is capable of expelling a large volume of water if the clam’s shells close suddenly. Though the siphon enables it to filter plankton from the ocean’s movement, its symbiotic relationship with the algae is truly amazing. Now this is what baffles me, evidently, God has created everything with a need or dependency on some thing or other, designed to complement one another, how are we to find that perfect clam to be that abundant source of fulfilment, joy & happiness by being what we are??? The algae did not wake up one day to find itself without a purpose. It was designed to BE A PURPOSE. God created them AS THE BEGINNING OF THE FOOD CHAIN. They were created to produce the 95% of the oxygen that we breathe; to feed the massive whale sharks, manta rays, megamouths & whatever else that require algae to function. Eve was taken from Adam’s ribs to be fashioned as his other complete person to become ONE. Blissful Diving.... As Jack had said to me, “God did not design two halves to become one. He said TWO shall become ONE. The void that we may feel during break-ups has to be filled only by God, not by another person just so that we can become COMPLETE. We are made COMPLETE IN HIM.” During my trip to Dayang, Jack & I ended up on a different boat after a freak storm hit us during a dive. As we were brought back to the island & while waiting for my other students to be delivered by our boat, we somehow had this conversation. It made me think about the giant clam later & why it was bigger than all other bivalves & what made it so special. And it’s beautiful. I’ve touched the mantle before just so I know what it feels like. It’s really soft & smooth! To see how intricately God had fashioned this animal to be the protection & host to zillions of zooxantellae is so awesome! Surely the algae did not say to the clam, “I cook, you wash.” It must’ve said, “I cook, you eat. Just shelter me from the elements at night & sun me in the day. That’s all I need to cook for you. And for as long as I live, I will never leave you nor forsake you.” The sunrise within... Why do people still split hairs about household chores, grocery shopping, making dinner & caring for the kids??? Does it really matter? No doubt the clam just sits there & do nothing all day but eat, it hosts the much needed algae. Some husbands sit there & do nothing but it makes you wonder if they are the giant clam you made them out to be. God designed them with a purpose too. To be strong enough to withstand currents. To weather any storm & to proudly show the patterns that the algae has formed in their mantles. Well, the only way to tell if you get the right clam is to have Light in your lives & be complete first before you drift into any stupid clam that might make your life miserable. Then determine if the clam is hungry & identify its needs for you. Finally, have the clam say to you, “I need you to be in my mantle, will you stay there with me forever???” Dawn at Dayang

Where I Go To Chill....

2005-07-20T11:06:00.000+08:00

Where Have I Been Lately??? The best place to be when you feel the heat is up in the highlands where you can freeze your mind & not think of the brewing stew. I went to Cameron Highlands to replenish my supply of Cameron Valley tea. My favourite orange pekoe tea. They only produce enough to supply to the highland’s community itself & only when there is surplus, they get sent to KL. So I had to get my fix. My tea & some chilly winds. I found a nice cottage to put up a night in. Temperature dropped to about 16 degrees Celsius & my security blanket really helped. It’s like American Express, ‘never leave home without it.’ On the way to Sg.Ruil, Orang Asli Settlement I didn’t have any conquest as usual. Just me & Jesus going for a chill in the highlands. The last time I was here was with someone very close to me & we were buying plants. This time, it was me & Jesus. I came to look for the familiar surroundings that brought so much peace every time I came here to chill out. It’s been almost three years & the development of Tanah Rata has caused the temperature to rise in the day. I drove around looking for subjects to photograph & stumbled upon the orang asli settlement. The Orang Asli Settlement, Sg.Ruil, Cameron Highlands I visited nurseries to look at flowers. And guess what, my rechargeable batteries ran low. Even my spares had run out. I had to selectively shoot or I won’t be able to make the trip to the tea farm on the way down. Another new beginning of a fern... I’m very curious to know how such leaves can bring so much punch to one’s lives. Tea. Hokkiens & Malays call it Teh. Cantonese call it Char. Japanese call them O-cha. I’m doing an article for the magazines on it & can’t put it here yet but my field day was to look at TEA. More about it later. I’ve got to pack up to go to diving today. The Flower Stall

2005-07-18T22:46:00.000+08:00

I have not been able to use Hello software since 14 July & can't post the numerous pictures that I've taken so far. This is a test message sent by the same software just to see if it would publish.

How Stealth Bombers Work

2005-07-07T10:24:00.000+08:00

Stealth Bomber's Design This is not a technical piece. The B-2 bomber, commonly known as the stealth bomber, was an ambitious project designed to replace the aging B-52 bomber. The US Military in the 70’s needed a plane that could carry nuclear bombs across the globe, to the Soviet Union, in only a few hours. And they wanted it to be invisible to enemy sensors, able to reach and destroy desired targets without ever engaging the enemy in combat. How in the air do you hide a giant plane? Billions of dollars were spent & nearly 10 years developing this top secret project. The finished product is a revolutionary machine -a 52metres wide flying wing that looks like an insect to radar scanners! I was gallivanting in Putrajaya last night to search for subjects when I found this moth they had taken the design from. The aircraft needs to be nearly invisible in a number of different ways to blend in with the background visually, and it needs to be very quiet. More importantly, it needs to hide from enemy radar as well as infrared sensors. It also needs to conceal its own electromagnetic energy. The B-2's flat, narrow shape and black coloration help it fade into the night. In the daytime when the B-2 stands out against blue sky, it can be hard to figure out which way the plane is going. The B-2 emits minimal exhaust, so it doesn't leave a visible trail behind it. As with most planes, the B-2's noisiest component is its engine system. Unlike a passenger jet or B-52, the B-2's engines are buried inside the plane & help muffle the noise. The efficient aerodynamic design keeps the B-2 quiet as well, because the engines can operate at lower power settings. Do you see a similarity between stealth bombers & men who stray??? They want to be totally undetectable by their wives/girlfriends/partners where they are able to reach out & seek their targets (in the form of other, usually more attractive female species) without ever engaging the target in the responsibilities of day to day living. Like the U.S. wanting to conquer & destroy targets just because they can. How on earth do you hide men who stray? They have somehow evolved from Adam into a revolutionary human that can escape spouses’ detection. Their quiet operation & invisible actions have caused them to blend in with the surroundings to appear as part of the day’s work. They have tuned their sensors to conceal their unquenchable energy for somethingthat the wive/girlfriend/partner does not have or seem to have diminished with time…..i.e. beauty, passion, excitement, listening ear, similar interests etc. It can be hard to figure out which way the man is going, he doesn’t leave any visible trail nor does he get exhausted with multiple access to their targets. Their noisiest component must be their spirit, buried deep inside the recesses of the mind, these stealth actions help muffle the noise to a point that they can’t differentiate the right from wrong or the conscientious from the non-conscientious actions of betrayal. God designed the union of marriage to be sacred. In fact, a union should only occur within marriage. Here’s why… For we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones. "For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two of them shall be ONE flesh." This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:30 - 32 But also let everyone of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and the wife that she defers to her husband. Ephesians 5:33 Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled, but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. Hebrew 13:4 Or do you not know that he being joined to a harlot is one body? For He says, The two shall be one flesh. 1 Corinthians 6:16 Let the deacons be the husbands of ONE wife, ruling their children and households well. 1 Timothy 3:12 For this is the will of God, your sanctification, for you to abstain from fornication, each one of you to know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honor (not in the passion of lust, even as the nations who do not know God), not to go beyond and defraud his brother in this matter (because the Lord is the avenger concerning all these, as we also have forewarned you and testified). 1 Thessalonians 4:3 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits fornication sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit in you, whom you have of God? And you are not your own, for you are bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's. 1Co 6:18 - 20 Therefore put to death your members (limb/part of body) which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness (which is idolatry), on account of which things' sake the wrath of God is coming on the sons of disobedience, among whom you also once walked, when you lived in these. Col 3:5 - 7 So much on fornication. Having sex with whom you are not married to. I have spoken to women who’s been involved in adulterous relationships; broken marriages due to husband committing adultery; estranged wives & many more. Sometimes I can even feel their pain of seeing their loved one cajoling younger girls in shopping centres, spending money meant for the family. I had been closed to a woman whose husband had an affair with his secretary for 20 years. Her sons were already in university. She languished in the knowledge that everyone else in the husband’s family knew about it but never told her. Husband complained that she didn’t make efforts to stay pretty or desirable despite her slogging away to make the home a home & kept her sons well fed through university. She spent countless nights crying silently beside him. Sometimes he would wake up but never once did he put his arms around her to offer a grieving woman comfort. I thought to myself, what kind of a man is that?!?! She bounced back by taking a grooming course, learnt how to apply make up & picked up English to converse enough. She went punk & coloured it red. She began to spend the money that she had been prudent for her husband all these years on a new wardrobe that’s stylish & hip. She shaved twenty years off her looks. She was 52 & looked 35. Whenever I went clubbing with her, she gets hit on. What a great change! I have so much respect for this remarkable woman! The pain & the longing of a kept woman for her lover are caused by the soul ties created in the spiritual realm. This sensor is meant to be for the wife to offer support to the husband in the household of God, not for the husband to create other soul ties so other women can give them that ‘support.’ Soul ties are formed when you have sex which is why God designed it for the purpose of marriage where their souls would become one. When sex is done outside the context of marriage, you pick up that person’s soul & all the bits & pieces of other souls that she has been conjoined with. Strange, but true. Which is why when you go for marriage counseling the Christian way, the pastor would get both parties to confess previous liaisons & go through a process of renunciation before the marriage can be sanctified by the church. I have also come across men who have long time girlfriends (of six years & more) who would go out to seduce others just to see what it’s like & to see if they still ‘have it’ in them before they tie the knot since it’s legal. They would profess their love for the target but make no mention of a future together. Bird charmer is an understatement. Every word oozes with sugar that ants just follow them wherever they go. One day, they just get married with their long time girlfriend, or find another sweet young thing, leaving the other speechless. The list can go on. Half husbands who can be with their girlfriends while the wife looks after the kids elsewhere. The list can go on. They are of the world, therefore they speak of the world, and the world hears them. We are of God. He who knows God hears us. The one who is not of God does not hear us. From this we know the spirit of truth and the spirit of error. Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God, and everyone who loves has been born of God, and knows God. The one who does not love has not known God. For God is love. In this the love of God was revealed in us, because God sent His only begotten Son into the world that we might live through Him. 1 John 4:5 - 9 For you know this, that no fornicator, or unclean person, or covetous one (who is an idolater), has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Ephesians 5:5 MEN WHO STRAY & STEALTH BOMBERS. Both can cause great damage when they go undetected & unload on their targets.

2005-07-06T16:20:00.000+08:00

Putrajaya Administration Centre

2005-07-06T11:36:00.000+08:00

On The PICC Bridge at Putrajaya

2005-07-06T11:34:00.000+08:00

PICC Bridge at Putrajaya

2005-07-04T20:48:00.000+08:00

Apprehension Before Fear....

2005-07-04T20:47:00.000+08:00

FEAR With Capital F!

2005-07-04T20:42:00.000+08:00

There Hasn't Been So Much Joy Since.....

Leave A Light On For Me

2005-06-29T14:50:00.000+08:00

The day that was. I switched off the lights for the last time. Sam was perplexed & said, “you switching off lights tonight huh?” I nodded & replied, “uh huh.” Deep down, it’s not just the act of turning off the lights which I never do because I retire earlier than my dive manager, Sam, who had the unfortunate task of taking care of the dive business AND the owner. And it never was right to begin with, that we had to share a room though we had huge single beds for ourselves. Friends who know me know Sam will be SAFE. Peacocks On The Rocks When I came here to start the business of running the dive operation, I had a heavy heart to relocate. I asked God many times, what I was doing & what He wanted me to do by replanting me within 3 days of moving apartments to the 9th floor? Specific calls pointed me to go so without much fanfare of leaving my cellgroup & performing arts group, I went. With the many break-ins we had in our condominium, I thought about my exit. I knew I had to get passed the guard at 1st floor & get out to my car at the ground floor with the thousand & one things I had to make my stay at the island as homely as possible. I called Andy, who ended up having a great workout in full office attire, tie inclusive, even before gym time in the evening. What would I do without Andy? I had to do this each time I returned to get more stuff. For security sake, I feared letting anyone see that I was going out of town because I would be leaving my apartment empty & vulnerable to burglars. I felt like a smuggler in my own home! I know that whenever I arrive at the port of call, I would be greeted by Supono or Molyati, sometimes both. They would help me unload the things from my car to the boat while making fun of whatever I was carrying. Mol lifted my wok & asked, “Apa ini, kak? Ini untuk Astro kah??? Heheheheh!” (What is this, sis? Is this the satellite dish for Astro???) Or I would arrive too early only to be greeted by Supono sweeping the compound & eventually finding me sleeping in my car. The moment I pick up a call that disturbed my forty winks, Supono would yell at me through the closed window, “Moi! Tidurlah!” (Moi is a term used to call Chinese girls. “Go back to sleep lah!”) causing me to drop back into slumber position in obedience. Travelling is not a chore. I am a venturor, with accidental adventures along the journey. Somehow I feel that God has put certain interests in every one of us to let it work to His glory. On my first few visits to what would be my place of operations, I had some weird encounters. A couple who was to run the dive operations turned out that the girl did not like the situation & was about to spit venom at me until the guy apologised profusely as he had been my good friend. I think she must have thought that I was after her guy. That fateful trip, I was stressed because we were not told of the late departure at 3pm when we arrived at noon & shortly after we departed, Omar, the boatman, had revved the engine of the boat a little too much & caused it to stall for 1 ½ hours in the rough sea. By the time I got to the island, I was green & my muscles were tensed. I was glad to see Alfrida(Frida) again. She arrived from Medan together with Amar & Khairani & was chauffeured to the island together with me on my previous visit. I requested for a massage service secretly as I did not want to use the supposedly-blind masseur operating at the island. When Frida sneaked into my room, she worked on my back. She began to pour her heart out as well. In the first two weeks of her arrival here, she got news that her 3 year old son had a sudden death. Her sole reason for living is gone. She was marginalised by some of the local staff. In short, she was bullied. I felt for her. Her boyfriend is a Christian from Meulaboh, in Acheh who survived the tsunami in December. She became a Christian as a result of the death of her son. Subsequent trips & after my relocation, Frida had been a great friend. I had the rights to using the cooking facilities at the kitchen & she had been transferred to work in the kitchen from housekeeping department. The first thing I bought before I reached the island was a semi auto washing machine. I am not a MANUAL person if you know what I mean. Bernard, the sous chef, accepted Christ & began to join us in our little prayer & worship sessions. Having Bernard & Frida at the kitchen was a blessing because on the days where we were really busy diving, they would keep some food for us. For the first two weeks, Sam & I didn’t know where to get chicken because they were not available at the supermarket in town. Strange, isn’t it? I would pick up groceries on my way back from KL or Kuantan to last us about a week. We developed a living pattern whereby I would scramble into bed & get all comfy while Sam would get the lights & return to conquer the universe on his computer games. I would then scramble out of bed at six something in the morning to meet God at my bench of petition & watch the peacocks congregate. Then Sam would lead the leisure divers or I would lead the discovery divers & leave it to him to rinse & soak the equipment after the dive while I rush to prepare lunch for the both of us. Some days, we had more than 2 dives. That’s when things become a little chaotic. Sam had a Big Gulp canister that held ice & kept drinks cold for 24 hours. I had one space bottle that made my Ribena taste metallic! Wasn’t much of a comparison but beggars can’t be chosers. Females do covet you know, but I had to be discreet in DRINKING from his canister or he will find out why his drink had been diminishing by the hour. *Heheheh…!* Big Gulp Canister Monday is always a washing day. We had a plunge tap in the bathroom & had to shove the ‘unbefitting’ hose to it while the other hand plunges the tap for as long as it takes to fill the tub placed just outside the bathroom. From the wash tub, the clothes had to be transferred to the spin/rinse tub & then again to the wash tub for softener & finally spin dry. A real chore it was. Someone has got to do it. We realised there was nowhere in the room that could hang clothes so Sam suggested that he used his diving spool to create a clothes line. Suffice to say, the picture will paint a thousand words. Sam in his working conditions! On nights where the construction workers worked till late to rush for the completion of the refurbishment of the jetty, I would sometimes wander over to watch them & talk to them. The simple handling of a hammer can bring so much fun for these foreign workers who hail from different parts of Indonesia & Vietnam. The hammerhead flew off the handle & dropped into the sea to the amazement of the handler, Molyati uttered, “Aduh! Kepala aku jatuh! Di mana kepala aku jatuh???” (Ow! My head fell off! Where did my head go???) I had fits after that as the rest of them made fun of his ‘head.’ When a great friend of mine came for a visit, I spent a considerable amount of time with him on the beach & open seating area. When he left, these workers would sing to me, oblivious that this friend of mine, was proficient in the language too, “Oh, aku kesepian…..!(Oh, how lonely I am…..) Aku kerinduan…..! (How I miss you so…) Cinta ku sudah pergi……(My love has gone…..)” Then I retorted, “Nanti aku pergi, kamu semua yang kesepian & kerinduan…!” (Wait till I leave, then you would be the lonely & forlorn one….!) & chuckles permeated the air. I would go to bed with the thought that these foreigners whom I see everyday, would form the part of a family that is missing in every one of us in a land faraway from their homes. The weekend fireworks are what we all look forward to & the cheering of the crowd would be very much dependent upon whatever celebration that is going on. They would switch all the lights off to stun the guests & when the fireworks start, everyone would be so enthralled. Our little weekend thrill of expecting the police to stopover too. Fireworks More Fireworks Splendid Show Of course fireworks are illegal. Which pleasurable substance is not? As I progressed, I began to discover things that I should not know about. Things about substance-abuse. Mismanagement. Criminal breach of trust. Negligence. Indifference. Denial of basic human rights. Things that I had been sent for. Taufik, one of the construction workers from Indonesia had a forklift land on him in a freak accident which broke his leg. He was all alone up in the jungle handling the machine. He shouldn’t have been. It was getting dark.His mobile phone was all he got to summon help. Before he was sent back to his hometown after having steel rods inserted into his leg, I paid him a visit in a motel on the mainland. A little encouragement is all that is needed sometimes. Taufik with his robotic rods in his broken leg. Oppression is something that the powerful does to force the weak into submission. To not have a safety procedure in place where construction is being carried out is NEGLIGENCE. Not visiting a staff in despair is INHUMANE. Cutting wages & increasing hours of work is EXPLOITATION. Being fed with stale rice & stale leftovers is TORTURE. I kept asking God how He wanted me to deal with this situation. I cannot let something like this slide pass my conscience when the people here are suffering. The powerful that run the place were pushing substance & those who did not follow suit would be oppressed. I kept my paperwork in order. Christians are to stand in the gap of RIGHTEOUSNESS at all cost. Jesus did that for us. I said to God that the business is dedicated to HIM & that my concern here was for the people whom He had sent me for. I was not the least bit worried at the non-assistance rendered to us by the resort nor was I concerned about the future of my company which I know God will provide. I was concerned about the welfare of the people here. It came to the final countdown. I was to leave this place for fear of retribution. That night, one by one, the workers called me on the phone to express sadness & support. They cried. I cried even harder. Mol said, “Kami sayangkan Kak & mahu Kak tahu kami akan sentiasa merindukan Kak. Kami tidak akan lupa bagaimana Kak menolong kami & kemunculan Kak memberi kebahagian kepada kami. Mol rasa seperti Mol sudah hilang satu kawan yang baik. Selama ini belum pernah ada orang yang buat baik kepada kami seperti Kak. Terima kasih, Kak. Kak berhati-hati ya?” (We love you & want you to know that we will always miss you. We will not forget your assistance & your existence that has made us all glad. I feel like as if I’ve lost a good friend. All this time, no one has shown us any humanity apart from what you have done. Thank you, sis. Be careful ya?). Shortly after, Moahari called. “Kak, saya nak pergi berjumpa dengan Kak tapi kalau mereka nampak, saya akan kena nanti. Saya sudah tahu apa yang sudah berlaku & saya berdoa supaya Kak dapat cari rezeki di mana-mana saja. Saya juga mahu mengucapkan selamat tinggal sekarang sebab esok mungkin tidak ada peluang. Kami akan berada di jeti untuk menghantar Kak. Biarlah Kak tahu dalam hati kami, kami akan sentiasa merindukan Kak & walaupun tidak boleh mengucap dengan mulut, tahu dalam hati kami, kami sangat sedih terhadap pergian Kak. Kami harap boleh berjumpa lagi.” (Sis, I would like to meet you but if they see me with you, I will get my dues. I know what has happened & I pray that you will be able to survive wherever you go. I want to wish you farewell now because I might not be able to tomorrow. We will be at the jetty to see you off but do know that in our hearts, we will always miss you & though we cannot verbally say it, please know that we are very sad with your departure. We hope to meet you again.) There were numerous SMS. By then, even Sam could not control me. This must be my most heartwrenching mission that God has sent me for. Frida helped me pack. Next morning, we hugged & cried some more. I hugged Sam who was to leave the following day. I got onto the boat & as the boat started to sail away, Mol, Moahari & the rest of the 12 workers stood up one by one. They smiled. They nodded in understanding & waved. I put on my sunglasses & waved back as they stood there watching. The peacocks must be glad that this feather-chaser is finally going…..with all their feathers dropped in evasion. Then God said to me that I will be back. And I will. When the evil ones go. My dear friends, leave a light on for me.

2005-06-28T01:32:00.000+08:00

Weed Flower

2005-06-28T01:08:00.000+08:00

Curl Of Nature

Indigenous Man, Indigenous Friends

2005-06-08T16:02:00.000+08:00

Wonder... I came across this man twice, both times while I was driving along the coastal road of Pekan in Pahang. The first time, I drove too fast & missed the opportunity to photograph him. The second time, I decided to make a U-turn & stalk him & his canine friends for a shot. He didn’t have teeth. His companions were oblivious to that. They happily tugged at each other, constantly looking back at this man, walking slowly to his destination. He was scrawny, scruffy & perhaps, hasn’t taken a bath in months. He didn’t look too well fed. I wonder if he has had a meal at all. I usually carry individual packets of biscuits in my car. Sometimes even cakes & cookies. This time, my car was not well stocked as I had made way to transport stuff to the island. I wish I had some food to offer this man. The question that came to mind was, did this man have a place he could rest at night? We all would like to think so but how many of us would actually come forward to offer assistance to homeless people? Why are they homeless in the first place? Anyone missing a parent? He could well be yours. Do you know if your parents are feeling neglected??? I thought about one of my church’s ministry called Urban Food Sharing where all the cellgroups take turns on Saturday afternoons to cook lots of food & serve the urban poor & homeless in the backstreets of Pudu. The little Lorong (street) has become synonymous with people who live in makeshift shelter in cardboard boxes, using newspapers as blankets & plastic bags as rain shield. The homeless aptly calls it Yehso Kai, the Cantonese translation for ‘the street that Jesus lives.’ Our doctors would provide treatment & check ups for them while those present will serve them food & drinks while they open up to anyone who would listen to them. Many are homeless because they have run away from the old folks/nursing home that their children have put them in. To them, it is more dignified to live in cardboard boxes on rooftops than to suffer the humiliation of being thought of as an invalid. They would not contact their children because they feel so rejected. Many have turned to drugs. Some has agreed to go through rehabilitation. Some has not. My dad has not been eating & had been wasting away because he’s frustrated with life. With us probably but he’s never shown it to me. When my sister whom we have not seen for 6 years flew back from the States to see him, I made arrangements for Sam to hold the fort on the island. I needed to see my ‘big (used to be tyrant) sister’ whom I miss very much & was hoping that we would be able to talk him into eating. Just the night before leaving, Sam received news that his father did not regain consciousness after a heart bypass. My heart sank. With the mounting operational difficulties & tussle with the resort, having both our fathers in dire straits made us see that the trial is not over. We cried & cried out to the Lord that night. Equipment breakdown we can fix but life going out of a person, we can’t fix. I made frantic calls to friends in the same trade to come take over the fort so that Sam can return to see his father too. Several pleas later, Peter agreed to come & help us out for the weekend. So we headed home. Now two weeks later, my dad is starting to eat & Sam’s dad just came out of coma albeit a stroke in the midst of the operation that left him half paralysed. Our cries to God had been heard & answered.

2005-06-03T22:18:00.000+08:00

An Owl Visited Me!

2005-06-03T22:16:00.000+08:00

Gotcha! Heeheehee!

What Will I Be Asked On That Day?

2005-05-24T00:36:00.000+08:00

Handsome! Every morning when I meet with God, I go to a spot where I can be in His presence without having to worry if anyone could overhear me. I found a bench just by the beach & by about 6:40am, I would stumble out of bed, grab my Bible & traverse at first light to make my blurry eyed way to my meeting place. All of a sudden, it rained feathers. I can explain this! The feathers were probably trapped in the tree branches when the peacocks fly over the roof(yes, they can fly) & happened to be dislodged just as I walked beneath them so it made my day to gather them! The night before, I was feeling quite overwhelmed by the prospect of my dad dying at home. And I’m here. Don’t ask me why I’m not at home by his bedside. I spent his birthday with him on the 18th & he was giving me last wishes instead of birthday wishes. I asked him how he felt about leaving this world & us. He said he felt peace. He only became a Christian 2 years ago. So has mum. Then my dive manager, Sam, walked in on me. Teary eyed & all. I think I’d stunned him. As he tried to reason with me & consoled me, I thought to myself, well, I’ve got to let go & let God. I’m going to have a lot of things to ask God about this & wanted to bring to His attention that I was feeling despaired over my beloved daddy. Then Bernard, the sous chef, came in with his guitar & sang me some songs that lifted my spirit. And that night, we committed it to God by praying for wisdom to know what He has us here for. Arriving at my bench of petition, there laid on the ground beside the bench, a long & beautiful peacock feather. Placed in such a way that I could never miss. Maybe God put it there to stop me from chasing the peacocks, telling them to ‘DROP FEATHER!’ before its time. It made me feel better already. At the very moment I ask for God’s presence, a black egret would fly just above the surface of the sea across me to land at the foundation of the jetty. Every day. Without fail. I thought it was a coincidence but I varied my waking hours between 6am & 6:45am. The moment I invite God’s presence, that egret will fly by me & rests on the jetty. Cool….. So if you ask me why I would give up the conveniences of high speed broadband & wifi in my favourite coffee joint, chilling at my humble abode facing a lush tropical jungle with civet cats, Racquet-Tailed Drongos, Woody Woodpeckers, Owls & neighbours who are resting in peace, gallivanting with TV Smith, well, I’ll tell you this, I haven’t spent enough time with God to warrant a retreat so He brought me here where all I could do is watch His magnificent creation all around me & say THANK YOU. The joy that comes from knowing that He has provided all things for the good of those who love Him & live according to His purpose. I’d been sent birds & butterflies! God is everywhere!
Butterfly Beneath Then I asked God if I were to meet Him now instead of my dad, what would He be asking me? I continued to ponder over the question even after I left the bench an hour later. Then an email I’d received contained the answers that I’d asked…… God won't ask what kind of car you drove. He'll ask how many people you drove who didn't have transportation. God won't ask the square footage of your house, He'll ask how many people you welcomed into your home. God won't ask about the clothes you had in your closet, He'll ask how many you helped to clothe. God won't ask what your highest salary was. He'll ask if you compromised your character to obtain it. God won't ask what your job title was. He'll ask if you performed your job to the best of your ability. God won't ask how many friends you had. He'll ask how many people to whom you were a friend. God won't ask what neighbourhood you lived in, He'll ask how you treated your neighbours. God won't ask about the colour of your skin,

He'll ask about the content of your character.

God won't ask how good YOU were; He'll ask if you believed in His Son who is the BEST. God won't have to ask how many people you have decided to give the good news to, He already knows your decision.

Peacock's Pride

2005-05-22T15:10:00.000+08:00

Since I got here, I noticed the peacocks had been roaming freely. The feathers are all stacked to make the patterns homogenous & uniformed. It’s like someone’s work of art on these birds as no two are alike. And they moult. I’d developed a favourite pastime of collecting their feathers, long, short & fluffy. Some of these are sitting between the pages of my Bible. Bookmark And with every find, I chuckle with glee, knowing that I’m competing with the rest of the resort staff who are also vying for this prized possession. Hahaha! The moulting process enables them to grow newer & more elaborate feathers. So the existing feathers make way when their time is up. What a splendid process. I have feathers all over my room now. The Deck Divers who come here, ask me how I can move from bustling KL city to a laidback idyllic island living. A girl friend whom I had met briefly before, was surprised to find me here too. I tell them that I am adjusting but the pace is still the same for me. The only thing I have to contend with is the non-availability of the usual convenience of midnight dining at mamak stalls. And the friends who would be awake to be there for you. Diver friends call me to give me encouragement & the inspiration to write. I needed it. Thank you, Eng Hoo, for believing in me in this occasionally lonely place. Then I told them of the birds that visit me are not the usual kind nowadays. I have three eagles atop the tallest trees in the jungle behind me, peacocks all around me & a rooster that likes to chill out at my balcony. Then the common mynahs will squeak when the monitor lizard emerges from below my chalet. The two dogs from the neighbours will roam into our place & I have access to so many pets in a gigantic marine aquarium that houses fearless Sergeant Majors & Cleaner Wrasses!! Ok, so I miss church & fellowship but I also get to meet people from all walks of life. We have had stories from a freight forwarder who transported dolphins to the Singapore Underwater World from Thailand. The whole operation was an intensive-care affair. Then we have the host of the Survivor series coming here to go diving with us. Shortly after, I met Erhling Wahlgren, former Mr. Universe! Who needs the city? My Daily Visitor So I have prided myself above the average city slicker (that I was) to come to this island & operate the dive centre with an equally if not more, proud city slicker of Singapore, my dive manager, Sam. Gene, a long time friend & fellow instructor, laughed himself silly when he found out. He didn’t think I could manage the compressor breakdown (if any) or the equipment breakdown (heaven forbids…) & asked me how I was going to manage them. Kaseng, my associate/godfather/guardian, interjected with “she’ll pick up her phone & call for help!” Swanky! That’s why I hired Sam. Life is never going to be the same again. When I made arrangements to cook our own meals, a friend enroute here kindly fulfilled my groceries request. Well, chocolates aren’t exactly groceries but they are my happy food. I got succulent grapes, a 300 thread count per square inch pillowcase & bonito flakes among others, to add onto my feel good therapy! Is he going to be the charming prince who rescues the princess from being marooned? I don’t feel marooned but it’s nice to make believe that I live in a fantasy once in awhile. Castle in a faraway land, an army of guards & servants. A tyrant king guided by an evil prime minister. And me? Stuck in the garden with my Golden Retriever & hornbill. Of course, ideally it should be pet tiger & a macaw but I’m being a bit realistic here. It would be better if this prince believed in Christ & walk in His ways. Maybe he was sent to be a distraction from the better things to come? Maybe he’s been sent by a competitor who’s got high stakes on a bet between themselves. Whatever it is, the last thing on my mind is to let a bet get in the way of friendship if friendship is what the friend is after. If the bet is really what this friend wants to win, then he would have lost the opportunity of my friendship. The Beach Relationships used to take up much of my time & effort as I’d placed so much emphasis on them. After going through life being single, I think I have an idea of what my soul mate would be. He will have to look like a peacock to impress me, drop life’s burdens no matter how much significance they hold like the moulting feathers, be ready to accept the period of looking bald & incomplete until the new feathers with greater magnificence grow out to replace the old. He must be monogamous like the macaws too. Tall order. Well, they say nothing is impossible with God. Just as He had arranged all the feathers to a pattern, numbered the hairs on our heads, letting a Godly man find me is like discovering my peacock feathers. Not knowing which peacock had dropped its’ feathers, chancing upon it is already an excitement. How the feather got there would be the adventure I’d live to tell my descendants, hopefully, in my garden full of flowers, hornbills & macaws, a Golden Retriever & God.

Milestone In My Life

2005-05-21T22:35:00.000+08:00

Whenever I purchase an orchid plant at the nurseries, it is to mark a turning point in my life. This time is my relocation. This orchid costs RM90. It was so unique that it caught my eye but I thought it would be better to purchase a young plant & nurture it till it flowers. Still, it set me back RM16. And it’s growing roots now....

Ring of Hope

2005-05-08T08:31:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, when things don’t happen the way they should, the first response we have is that of anger & frustration. On the Labour Day weekend, the boat was to depart at six am, so we were told. The group of volunteers who came in the night before, barely had five hours of sleep when I jolted them up to catch the early ferry to Tioman. When the group of 12 of us arrived at the jetty at 5:45am, the ferry had left without us, citing the tides going out had to be challenged if they were to make it. Being told that the ferry service for all the days were fully booked, our hopes were dashed when we got stranded there. We arranged with the transport company to accommodate the twelve of us for a later trip when the tides rose again. Kaseng, my associate/advisor/godfather/mentor, lost his cool but I just kept silent & apologised for the delay & asked the volunteers to proceed for breakfast instead. So we ate. And we talked. We got acquainted very quickly. Audrey & Kok Cheong, friends of Wai Min, a Reccie(term used for recreational diver), had established themselves as Christians at the beginning of the conversation & before you know it, it was almost 8am. Then Aaron Tee straddles in to say hello, barefooted, drenched in mud & stank. Hahaha, a forumer in all his splendour! “Aaron, what’s wrong with you?” “Our speedboat got stuck in the sand. So are the other speedboats while trying to get to the big ferry. I walked back to get breakfast for the rest!” A blessing in disguise. We cheered so loudly, we didn’t realise we got stares. God had kept all of us from the arduous journey to the sandbanks of Mersing rivermouth. By the time the boat transported us out to the main ferry, it was 10am. We only got to our destination at almost 1:30pm. You'd think that the Mersing boat operators would be familiar with the waterways since they've been at it for years but no. They are mercilessly caught because the shifting sands just cover up the route that they thought was passable. What's happening to the widening of the river or reinforcement on the banks? The digging up of the waterway??? In my humble opinion, they are digging a deeper grave for themselves. So our plans got delayed but we were spared from having to get down to push the boat as Aaron was also seen doing after we rode pass them to get to the ferry. I couldn’t imagine then, what would have happened if we were laden with problems at the start of the trip & the possibility of sending everyone back because there wasn’t space in the ferry. Well, the mission has to go on. We were to salvage corals & replant them. There’s something about community living that brings out the best in everyone. God never intended for man to live alone. Again, the public holiday-long weekend problem of not having enough rooms caused the four of us, Sam, Dengy, Ricac & I, to bunk in one room. Audrey, Ricac & I talked about issues that surround our lives. We laughed at the propositions I’d received in my life as a female instructor. We also talked about lost love. Ricac hadn’t heard anything like it before, about the way we solve our problems through Christ. She said it’s as if we depended solely upon His existence & power to live each day. She’s not far from the truth. If we are to be the light & salt of the world, we must first learn to live the way that God had intended for us to live…..by faith. The coral rescue mission is another topic altogether but I figured God had used this opportunity to put desires in Kok Cheong’s heart to dive again after a lapse of 7 years, to send Audrey to minister to me. In return, I took care of Kok Cheong akin to bringing a kid sight-seeing underwater! Uprooting from KL to the islands meant time away from fellowship with my Christian cellgroup & performing arts practices. I asked God if He really wanted me to go before I packed my bags & when I opened the Bible, He sent me to Psalm 107….

O give thanks to Jehovah, for He is good; for His mercy endures forever. Let the redeemed of Jehovah say so, whom He has redeemed from the hand of the enemy, and gathered them out of the lands, from the east, and from the west, from the north, and from the south. They wandered in the wilderness, in a desert by the way; they found no city to dwell in. Hungry and thirsty, their soul fainted in them. Then they cried to Jehovah in their distress, and He delivered them out of their troubles. And He guided them by the right way, so as to go to a city to live in. Oh that men would praise Jehovah for His goodness, and for His wonderful works to the sons of man! For He satisfies the thirsty soul, and fills the hungry soul with good. Those who sit in the darkness and in the shadow of death, being chained in affliction and iron; because they rebelled against the Words of God, and despised the advice of the Most High. and He humbled their heart with labor; they fell down, and none was helping. Then they cried to Jehovah in their distress, and He saved them out of their troubles. He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and broke their bands in two. Let them praise Jehovah for His goodness, and for His wonderful works to the sons of man! For He has broken the gates of bronze, and cut the bars of iron in two. Fools are afflicted because of their rebellion, and because of their iniquities. Their soul hates all kinds of food; and they draw near the gates of death. Then they cry to Jehovah in their distress, and He saves them out of their troubles. He sent His Word and heals them, and delivers them from their pitfalls. Let them praise Jehovah for His goodness, and for His wonderful works to the sons of man! And let them sacrifice the sacrifices of thanksgiving, and declare His works with rejoicing! They who go down to the sea in ships, who do business in great waters; these see the works of Jehovah and His wonders in the deep. For He commands and raises the stormy wind, which lifts up its waves. They mount up to the heavens, they go down again to the depths; their soul is melted because of trouble. They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man, and all their wisdom is swallowed up. And they cry to Jehovah in their trouble, and He brings them out of their troubles. He makes the storm a calm, so that its waves are still. And they are glad because they are quiet; so He brings them to their desired haven. Let them praise Jehovah for His goodness, and for His wonderful works to the sons of man! And let them exalt Him in the congregation of the people, and praise Him in the gathering of the elders. He sets rivers to a wilderness and water-springs to thirsty ground; a fruitful land to a salty desert, because of the wickedness of those who dwell in it. He turns the wilderness into water-ponds, and dry ground into water-springs. And He makes the hungry dwell there, so that they may prepare a city to live in; and sow the fields, and plant vineyards, which may yield fruits of increase. He also blesses them, so that they are multiplied greatly; and does not allow their cattle to become few. Again, they have become few, and humbled through harshness, affliction, and sorrow. He pours scorn on nobles, and causes them to wander in the wilderness, where there is no path. But He raises up the poor from affliction and sets families like a flock. The upright shall see and rejoice; and all iniquity shall stop its mouth. Whoever is wise, and will observe these things, they shall understand the mercies of Jehovah.

What a direct order this is. I know I would be starved of spiritual food but God had placed a worship leader there ahead of me. Morie would play the piano & we would sing together. Singing alone wouldn’t suffice. We need ministry. And God sent Audrey to encourage me to stand firm in Him. At the end of the trip, when we reached the Tioman jetty for our ride back, there was an eagle looming ahead about to zoom in on its’ prey in the water. We stood in awe at the sheer size of that eagle with a wingspan of 1.5metres. The moment the eagle succeeded at its attempt to catch fish, it headed straight for the trees above the hills. Audrey asked me how long we’d met & I replied three days. She took out a ring that she had made using Swarovski crystals & presented it to me. I was moved beyond words. She said, “This is our engagement ring for you to keep your spirits high as you work unto the Lord & to serve Him in days to come. We hope this would encourage you to look ahead of any adversities you may face!” That same night, the chapter I read in Job 9:22 – 35 talked about the things I’d witnessed in the day…

It is One, therefore I said, He is consuming the perfect and the wicked. If the whip kills suddenly, He will mock at the calamity of the innocent. The earth is given into the hand of the wicked; He covers the faces of its judges; if it is not He, then who is it? Now my days are swifter than a runner; they flee away, they see no good. They have passed away like the swift ships; like the eagle who swoops on the prey. If I say, I will forget my complaint, I will depart from my heaviness and be of good cheer, I am afraid of all my sorrows; I know that You will not hold me innocent. I have been condemned; why then should I labour in vain? If I wash myself with snow water, and make my hands ever so clean, yet You will plunge me into the ditch and my own clothes shall despise me. For He is not a man, as I am, that I should answer Him, that we should come together in judgment; there is no mediator between us, who might lay his hand on us both. Let Him take His rod away from me, and let not His fear make me afraid; then would I speak and not fear Him; for it is not so with me.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for sending Audrey & Kok Cheong my way, an encounter that rings hope & increases faith to prepare me for the plan that You have laid out for me. Amen.

2005-05-02T16:47:00.000+08:00

Quiet Time Visitor

2005-04-28T16:39:00.000+08:00

Bliss....many days too!

Will You Give Me Rest?

2005-04-25T19:21:00.000+08:00

The Kapok Tree! I had a field day in the Sungei Buloh nurseries on Thursday with Andy & Nita, picking the best looking plant for the balcony of my apartment. Well, I picked up several plants in the process & even managed to talk Andy into nursing a beautiful red fern for me in case it died in my hands! Naturally, on our way there, we talked about plants & trees. Upon passing a what-seem-to-be a linseed cotton or kapok tree, I thought about the uses of those fibres hanging out of the pods. In the primitive days where stones were used in place of pillows, where did pillows come from??? Seems like a question a child would ask the parent, where did everything come from??? I began to hear God speaking to me,

“How I made you, I thought about what you would need…..including your pillows, yes, the smelly pillow of yours that you still have since I gave it to you on your birthday. It’s made of kapok for you to hug & sniff & not trigger your sinus problems. I thought about your bolster too & your security blanket that you refuse to throw away. Now you are looking for fleece which I also made for your enjoyment & comfort because I knew you are so finicky about your sleep. I made the kapok trees grow in villages where the inhabitants would be able to harvest the fibres & make pillows for themselves each time the pods fall to the ground. Excessive kapok will be made into pillows for sale. I’ve thought of everything because I love you….and you…and you…..and you.”

Oh my God. What would I do without You. And my smelly pillow. Then it brought to mind, a trip I had organised last year. I thought I had it all planned when a world famous marine naturalist, who asked me to marry him, was coming diving with me. No, it wasn’t for the prospect of marrying him. It was for what I would learn on the trip being his buddy. Together with a gentleman who was also hot on my heels, who seem to be hoping to hump everything in sight & dear Lawrence of Australia & his pillow. Lawrence brought along a brand new polyester fibre pillow because he has to have a proper pillow to sleep on. He wasn’t going to trust me, neither would he trust the resort which is nestled in a world class diving location. Okay……I’m travelling with a bunch of eccentrics here…… Until of course, the trip went horribly wrong. Mr. Famous & Mr. Popular had been assigned to the same room. I thought that was nice but not being able to share a room with me caused both to behave funny. This was what Lawrence noted, for he, had to share a room with yours truly & constantly reminded me that he didn’t want to be in the line of fire (Hence, I found out that he’d pack a pillow along.). During the dives, I encountered the most unprofessional, discourteous, discriminatory & dangerous dive leader I've ever known. And I know many. I got accused of doing a decompression dive on purpose & he shouted at me right in front of other divers which of course, led me to fire back. The manner in which he said it, belittled me, my profession & my integrity. It demonstrated his lack of knowledge for decompression theory & physics, & shows contempt for safety practices. He even challenged me to make a call to the owner of the resort (a friend of mine) to report him on the spot. He has no regard for Asians in the way he segregated Lawrence (Chinese Malaysian), & in the way he spoke to fellow dive leaders as I'd observed. He is outright rude, uncouth & a Mat Sallehs' a** - kisser for the tips as far as I can see. There were no proper dive briefings & even the orientation was improper. This dive leader in question has no clue to the local dive sites as he’d been working on a neighbouring oceanic island. I ended up knowing the sites better & leading, as I’d dived the area more than he has. Fine. What has become of my holiday? On one of our dives, we were delayed for 2 hours while we stood there at the dive station all ready in our wetsuit. Finally when the boat arrived, it was ferrying petrol & after off loading, the boat stank & we were just wondering if the remnants would damage our equipment & wetsuit!!! Mr. Famous had to sit on 4 petrol tanks while carrying all 3 of his cameras & I got the brunt of his displeasure which I had nothing to retort because I highly recommended that place in the first place. He kept reminding me that in his 34 years of diving, this was the first time he had to pay for a trip. Oh no. What could be worst than a famous tantrum? Everything seemed to have gone wrong. The resort was overbooked & checked two guests into the staff quarters, one of the Italian couple got bitten by a scorpion on his bed, a Latvian got stung on the foot & swelled up like a Michelin tyre. I’ll spare you the rest. It was my most depressing trip of all time. I knew my reputation was going to go along with all these problems associated with the resort. Then on one of the night dives, after I had assembled my gear, God asked me to stay. Oh alright. Night dives were my favourite….. What was I going to tell Arnis, Janis & girlfriend(Latvian guests I met at the resort)??? Oh well, I have to meet with the Almighty & I had to think of something really quick to say…..

“Here, you take my torch, my shaker, my stick & use my equipment if you like, I can’t go. I have to meet with GOD.”

And no questions asked, they proceeded with the shore dive without me. I got back to my room & had a cold shower (the water heater doesn’t work) before stepping out into the darkness of the surrounding beach. So I said to God, “Lord, what do you want me to do? What do you want to tell me?” I sat down on the sand with my torch beam starring at a hermit crab. I tried to take a photograph of it when I heard some sounds & seeing shadows, a voice said to me, “Apa kamu buat?” (What are you doing?). The silhouette of 4 men were barely seen but I began a conversation with them anyway. Then all of us sat down, encircling the hermit. I couldn’t see any of their faces as there was no moon that night. One of them happened to be the owner of the boat which carried the petrol earlier in the day. The other was his boatman. Another was a boatman from the neighbouring resort & yet another was a fishermen in the village. There were no signs of threat & I had no fear being surrounded by strangers. We talked about God, life in the islands, meeting my match & staying away from Dive Masters. By then, the hermit had quietly made its’ escape from our ring. Three hours went by. It was absolutely great. I got to understand a bit about the fishermen culture & life in general for the islanders. I was truly floored for being counted as worthy of sharing the hopes & heaviness of the locals of another world. I asked them about what they cared for in life, the things that mattered most to them as fishermen & what could a city girl like me do to help them improve their standard of living. It was hard to say goodbye when we called it a night as I knew I wouldn’t be seeing them again. If it wasn’t for the responsibility of taking care of my group, I would stay on talking with them till morning. I got into the room & woke Lawrence up in the dark. I shared with him what had happened. He was just hugging his pillow. Oh, well, I asked him what he was going to do with it when we leave as he was on a connecting flight back to Australia when he goes back to KL. He said he would leave it behind for the resort. Then I suggested to him, why not give it to the porter who carried our humungous bags for nothing??? He was a very dark gentlemen who laboured in the sun carrying & transporting divers’ bags. He wore old clothes & had no shoes. He must have been from the fishing village. And so it was. The next day, we were scheduled to leave. The dive manager presented me with a pink cap & a dive T-shirt as gesture of goodwill for all the unpleasantness experienced in my 5day stay with them. Since I don’t wear caps, I decided to give it to the porter along with Lawrence’s pillow too. There was a big smile on his face when he received the cap from me & when he took the pillow, I’ll never forget what he said….. “Terima kasih! Saya belum pernah memiliki bantal seumur hidup saya! Malam ini saya akan tidur lena! Terima kasih!” (Thank you! I’ve never owned a pillow in my entire life! Tonight I will sleep well! Thank you!) And tears rolled down my cheeks.

Then the King shall say to those on His right hand, Come, blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you gave me food; I was thirsty, and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger, and you took Me in; I was naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me. Then the righteous shall answer Him, saying, Lord, when did we see You hungry, and fed You? Or thirsty, and gave You drink? When did we see You a stranger, and took You in? Or naked, and clothed You? Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and came to You? And the King shall answer and say to them, Truly I say to you, In as much as you did it to one of the least of these My brothers, you have done it to Me. Matthew 25:34 - 40

Begonias

2005-04-23T13:42:00.000+08:00

Begonias

2005-04-23T13:39:00.000+08:00

Climbing Plant

2005-04-23T13:36:00.000+08:00

Pinkish Indoor Plant

Alive & Well

2005-04-18T16:42:00.000+08:00

In case you were wondering if I got swallowed up by sinkholes or shaken by tremors, I'm still around, busy as ever & having just completed a roadshow that bewildered me. I need to get some sleep & get organised before I share my experiences with you but it would help a lot to know who's reading my blog because it's quite depressing to not see any comments about my journeys..... :( *pout* *upset* *upset*

2005-04-06T12:02:00.000+08:00

The Chao Phraya By Night

2005-04-06T10:27:00.000+08:00

The Dome, State Tower

2005-04-06T10:25:00.000+08:00

State Tower Bangkok

2005-04-06T10:19:00.000+08:00

My Love Affair in Bangkok...

Of Demons & Angels

2005-03-29T22:31:00.000+08:00

There’s an evil spirit under my bed…!!!! Or so I thought when I was shaken silly last night just as I was about to fall into slumber. I began to pray aloud in tongues. Binding & rebuking demons, commanding the shaking to stop. And it did. So I relaxed & was about to snooze when my phone rang. It was Andy, my 15th floor neighbour, asking me where I was & why I hadn’t gotten out of my apartment. Huh? I got dressed in lightning speed & grabbed my laptop, passport, GPS & mosquito repellent in the dark. In crisis relief management, I was taught to have my rations bag ready for evacuation. Let’s just say that I was half ready. I left my rations bag in the dark while trying to ‘escape’ from my apartment. Upon reaching ground, many other residents were already out. Some were without shoes. Andy & Nita headed off downhill with their cat, Moggie. I was waiting for Lenny, my brother in Christ on the 15th floor too. Then I got a call from TV Smith, “Chaad, are you at sea??? There’s been tremors all over Penang & KL, are you alright?” “Chaaaaad! My bed shook & I’m evacuating now. I’m fine. What’s happening?” He replied, “Earthquake, Chaad. I’m online & will update you soon. Be safe ok? I gotta alert the rest. Bye, Chaad.” “Byeee…thanks, Chaad!” By now, I really don't care if it was the demons that were under my bed or if I were in need of deliverance. It can't be so coincidental that the earthquake that triggered the tsunami fell on the day after Christmas & this earthquake I'd just experienced, happens to be a day after Easter. Perhaps God is reaffirming something... Tell us, When shall all these things be? And what shall be the sign when all these things shall be fulfilled? And Jesus answering them began to say, Beware that no one deceive you. For many shall come in My name, saying, I AM, and shall deceive many. And when you shall hear of wars and rumors of wars, do not be troubled. For it must happen, but the end shall not be yet. For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. And there shall be earthquakes in different places, and there shall be famines and troubles. These things are the beginnings of sorrows. But take heed to yourselves. For they shall deliver you up to sanhedrins, and in the synagogues you shall be beaten. And you shall be brought before rulers and kings for My sake, for a testimony against them. And the gospel must first be proclaimed to all nations. But whenever they lead you away and deliver you up, take no thought beforehand what you should speak or think. But speak whatever shall be given to you in that hour. For it is not you who speaks, but the Holy Spirit. And a brother will betray a brother to death, and a father his son. And children will rise up against their parents and will cause them to be put to death. And you will be hated by all for My name's sake, but he enduring to the end, that one will be kept safe. But when you see the abomination of desolation, that spoken of by Daniel the prophet, standing where it ought not (let him who reads understand), then let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains. And let him who is on the housetop not go down into the house, nor enter to take anything out of his house. And let him who is in the field not turn back again in order to take up his garment. But woe to those with babe in womb, and to those who give suck in those days! And pray that your flight is not in the winter. For in those days shall be affliction, such as has not been from the beginning of the creation which God created until now, and never shall be. And unless the Lord had shortened those days, no flesh would be saved. But for the elect's sake, whom He has chosen, He has shortened the days. And then if anyone shall say to you, Lo, here is Christ! Or, lo, there! Do not believe him. For false Christs and false prophets will arise and will give miraculous signs and wonders in order to seduce, if possible, even the elect. But take heed; behold, I have told you all things beforehand. But in those days, after that tribulation, the sun shall be darkened, and the moon shall not give her light, and the stars of Heaven shall fall, and the powers in the heavens shall be shaken. And then they will see the Son of Man coming in the clouds with great power and glory. And then He shall send His angels and shall gather His elect from the four winds, from the end of the earth to the end of heaven. And learn the parable of the fig-tree: when her branch is still tender and puts out leaves, you know that summer is near. So you also, when you see these things happening, you know that it is near, at the doors. Truly I say to you that this generation shall not pass away until all these things occur. Heaven and earth shall pass away, but My Words shall not pass away. But of that day and hour no one knows, no, not the angels in Heaven, nor the Son, but the Father. Take heed, watch and pray, for you do not know when the time is. As a man going away, leaving his house, and giving authority to his servants, and each man's work to him, and commanded the doorkeeper to watch. Then you watch, for you do not know when the lord of the house is coming, at evening, or at midnight, or at cockcrowing, or early; lest he come suddenly and find you sleeping. And what I say to you, I say to all. Watch. Mark 13:4 – 37 Anyway, the perceived 'demons' had come from an incident during the day. I got a phone call from Ken asking me to pick him up from Damansara Utama to Jalan Ipoh. Ken had never asked me for favours & I reckoned it must have been really urgent so I went. We haven’t seen each other for quite some time so we did some catching up. When we got to the car showroom, he asked me to be in there with him. I asked him what’s the story or if he had wanted me to negotiate with the sales people. Then he briefed me about his suspicion of dishonesty in the sales girl handling the purchase of his car. He had been waiting 3 months & no car. He was just uneasy about the deal. Hmmm.....I'd just been dragged into battle. So we entered this massive showroom. The sales girl wasn’t in. We were invited to the manager’s room. It must have been a good one hour of argument with the manager to maintain our intentions of buying the car but not getting the car. In the course of his dealings with this sales girl, Ken was offered other colours & make to substitute for the non-availability but even when he compromised on accepting a different model, he still didn’t get his car. Upon checking with other showrooms of the same manufacturer, it was confirmed that the particular model/colour in question was indeed in production. To our horror, the manager showed his system’s records that Ken’s order had been cancelled on 7th March! Of course, here I was, not knowing the full story, insisted that it made no sense to have a cancellation after being made to wait for 3 months. Throughout the 'arguement,' I noticed the manager's tie, was filled with tiny crucifixes. Could he be a Christian too? I'd rather be volunteered that information as I'd been insinuating that he was a Liar, Liar, pants on fire kind of bloke. I suggested to have lunch first as the sales girl was being summoned to return to showroom. On our way to lunch, Ken mentioned that the sales girl had told him that she had transferred the order to another dealer in order for him to get his car. I flipped. He didn’t want to get her into trouble. It was a clear case of CRIMINAL BREACH OF TRUST. Then I made it known to him that we, as Christians, should uphold righteousness & honesty in the workplace & in all our dealings. The consequences of the sales girl’s actions, will cause others to have a very bad view of Christians. To have him keep quiet, meant that he was advocating the crime! I felt bad for him at the same time as he had sold his car & was without transport for the last 3 months. So we committed it to the Lord. We prayed & asked for wisdom in handling this issue as I precipitated the matter earlier by implying that the manager was lying to customers. We asked God to clothe us with the armour of God, the helmet of salvation, the breastplate of righteousness, the shield of faith, the gird of truth, the sandals of peace & the sword of the Spirit which is in the word of God as we prepared ourselves for the spiritual battle ahead. There was no way Ken would be getting a car in the way things were heading. Even if he received a refund, he would have to waste time in booking & waiting for the delivery of the car from a different showroom. It was a no-win situation. We asked God to help us get the truth exposed & obtain the car by honest means. We asked for His presence to guide the deal according to His will. This brings to mind, the time when Elisha was going into battle. And the king of Syria warred against Israel, and took counsel with his servants, saying, In such and such a place shall be my camp. And the man of God sent to the king of Israel, saying, Beware that you do not pass such a place, for the Syrians have come down there. And the king of Israel sent to the place of which the man of God told him and warned him, and saved himself there, not once nor twice. And the heart of the king of Syria was enraged for this thing. And he called his servants and said to them, Will you not show me which of us isfor the king of Israel? And one of his servants said, None, my lord, O king, but Elisha the prophet, who is in Israel, tells the king of Israel the words that you speak in your bedroom. And he said, Go and spy where he is, so that I may send and bring him. And it was told him, saying, Behold, he is in Dothan. And he sent there horses and chariots and a great army. And they came by night and surrounded the city. And the servant of the man of God arose early and went out. And, behold, an army surrounded the city, and horses and chariots. And his servant said to him, Alas, my master! What shall we do? And he answered, Do not fear, for those with us are more than those with them. And Elisha prayed and said, I pray You, Lord, open his eyes so that he may see. And the Lord opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw. And behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha. And they came down to it, and Elisha prayed to the Lord and said, I pray You, strike this people with blindness. And He struck them with blindness according to the word of Elisha. 2 Kings 6:8 – 18 ‘Those with us’ clearly depicted the warring angels that surrounded & protected Elisha. We have been given charge of angels to war & battle on our behalf as they protect us. And it shall be that we walked into the manager’s room in the presence of the sales girl & Ken proceeded to tell the truth as a God-fearing Christian. I just agreed to not say anything. When the sales girl started to confess that it was her boyfriend, a used car dealer, who cancelled Ken’s booking for him & wanted to snitch the sale, the manager immediately picked up the phone to order a unit of Ken’s desired model with the manufacturer with great urgency. The order was reinstated. Battle control terminated. The Lord was clearly present in the room with us. Victory belongs to Him. Ken will finally get his car in a week.

2005-03-27T00:52:00.000+08:00

A Handful of Nails

Pulau Bidung Monument

2005-03-21T20:45:00.000+08:00

I had wanted to visit Pulau Bidung’s wrecks for a long time. It was out of bounds to civilians until the 90’s but then, being an enthusiastic diver wanting to go to a forbidden place may not receive similar response from dive operators & fellow divers. I was asked to conduct a Rescue Diver course for Lindy Edwards on board a ship on one fateful weekend of August 2003, where the ship had no other customers except us. Somehow, some of their bookings were cancelled & the ship was docked in Pulau Bidung, with a chaser boat sending us out for every dive. I was still in primary school when the Vietnamese sought asylum in our country. I barely understood the significance of the boat people then but when I made the dives on the wrecks just at the bay of Pulau Bidung, images of the lives of these people flashed in my mind. There were lots of crockery, some buried in the sand. And I am guilty of picking up a souvenir. There were old cauldrons. An earthen stove that’s before my time. Oil drums. Anchors. Household utensils which I’m sure, many had been salvaged by other divers before me. The boats were of a different shape, unlike boats from our country. To have the boats sunken in such a haste really struck me. They must’ve been so afraid to be made to leave the island that they destroyed their own mode of transportation to be marooned. A sense of grief struck me. How fortunate are we Malaysians not having to worry about running away from our own country. I felt grieved & relieved at the same time as God said to me I was born here for a reason just as the Vietnamese were born there for another. To have lived the extremities & tasted the bitterness, not many lived to tell. Since the story had been highlighted in the newspaper, it just confirmed everything that I had felt while I was amidst the total wreckage (more than 15 boats)then. May God grant the survivors favour & blessings for all their future undertakings. You can see my underwater pictures here

Man Of My Dreams

2005-03-14T20:44:00.000+08:00

The Real Phantom! The epitome of a true man! A woman’s man! And a man’s man! Man, is Gerard Butler handsome or what?!? His depiction of phantom is so full of that L-factor that when our performing arts cast went to watch it, some of the expressive ones broke into song while I just sat there & swooned. He is one of the few who could melt me & make me malleable….wow! I thought I only get this feeling with Bollywood movie stars with the likes of Abishek Bachan, Sharukh Khan & Hrithik Roshan. What happened here??? I must regain my composure…ahem…mmm….now where were we? Days when Sarong Party Girls never got the light of day for their Mat Salleh-totting ways (Mat Salleh is a slang for Caucasians), the Boh-Sia (literally means ‘no-sound’) in the streets of KL caused a stir when they would have sex freely & for free. Friends back then would always say to Mat Salleh-totters, ‘Are all Asian men dead or dying?’ to voice their displeasure & biasness towards Asian men. Let me stress that this is not a racial issue but merely to point out ‘the men’ from the men. These men friends get so upset when they hear/know of cases of neglect & heartbreak on their Asian girl friends by their expatriate boyfriends. So it’s no surprise that when the books, SARONG PARTY GIRL, THE REVENGE OF THE SARONG PARTY GIRL, THE SPG RIDES AGAIN were published, they were well received. Expats have been known to have caused so much grievances to the hopefuls who think that they may be tickets out of the country. I know of some very loving Expat-Asian couples who have weathered storms & such but they are few & far between. So who can be the man of my dreams, when I have to battle with differentiating the real guys from the fake guys, the macho singles from the married super-machos, the touchables from the untouchables. These will be explained in the following paragraph. Scientifically, looks & physical assessment has been found to be the determining factor for people to select their mates to produce good offsprings. Somehow, this biological programming in our bodies often deceives us when we are looking for a soul-mate. Harry-chest & whatever-turn-you-ons aside, how many guys actually take the time to woo the ladies & win her heart for life? Well, this question depends upon the values that one is holding about marriage & life. Take for example, the Hit & Runs, the Wham Bam Slams & the Meow-Meows. First, we identify the FAKES. They dress to the nines to impress but they are all borrowed stuff. They make up fancy job titles. They try to be somebody they are not. They make you pay on dates. The Bible says that women are to experience the grace of life. Equality is something that the devil has put in the minds of females to liberalise themselves, so to speak, but in actual fact, it is a direct contravention of God’s teaching. We should seek equal opportunities, equal rights for an education, equal pay, equal benefits, equal views & equal respect but equality does not mean that we should be EQUAL TO MEN. An apple does not need to be equal to an orange because they each have their own attributes to make them unique & taste the way they do. When I want to eat an apple, I expect the apple to taste like one. Just like I only have oranges in juice form & no other way. So it would not be right to outdo men (though most times we do & can do far better but this is not a question of competition) or do what they rightfully should do when taking girls out. There won’t be a second date if I have to pay. In my course of work before, I often have to have dinners to elaborate on work & most often, I get ‘taken out’ instead of the opposite, with the client. A brief insight to who goes to these dinners, there are the exceptionally gentlemen who would open doors, seat you at the table, order whatever you want & asks real questions to get to know you. Some of these genuine people have become friends for life. Prospect? None. They are married. They fall under the ‘married super-machos’ category. They can afford anything, take you anywhere, (Chieng Mai for golf?) & offer a lot to please you. They are covetous. They want you all to themselves. The moment I know that they are married, I always insist on having others accompany these dinners. Then there are those who trust you so much that they would take you to meet their wives…..then take you along to dinners to be with their mistresses so that they can use you as an ally when their wives raise suspicion. I guess there is some truth to married men being able to understand women better & know how to treat them well……they want to treat every woman that way too. However, they are out of bounds & I am very familiar with their modus operandi. Doesn’t turn me on one bit. I don’t want to go to hell. Then comes those whom you know, are single, unattached, very eligible & are great friends. You love them dearly. You think of them when you want to watch a silly movie, a cartoon or do anything for the weekend. I mean, really great friends where you can hang out together with no apprehension, inhibitions & what not. When you are down, they are readily available to cheer you up, to cook you a scrumptious meal, to assure you they are still there as your friend even though your boyfriend is not anymore. After 5 years of that, you begin to wonder why there hasn’t been any love interest in their lives at all. You feel that you know them well but not enough to ask about their single status. You begin to wonder if they are GAY. You hope not. You can’t ask because you don’t want to ruin the friendship. You begin to feel for them. You begin to wonder why you had never thought of them romantically before. Have they become the UNTOUCHABLES? From all the do & ditch (a better term for Hit & Run) testimonies in Cleo & other girly magazines, instances of those on the prowl will seek out easy targets for one-night stands. Those who stopover from other countries, in transit or in for short term visits will almost definitely be like a sailor on every port…..seeking out Susan. If they are polite & pay for services, they would be looking for the nearest red light districts, if more polished, at expatriate-frequented pubs in Bangsar & wait for the unsuspecting Mat Salleh-Seeker to make contact. Usually, these types of Wham-Bam-Slams are often the rejects themselves. If they are lucky, they might find one to settle down with, if not, they just have to settle it themselves. That leaves us now with the Meow-Meows. What has cats got to do with this issue of finding that dream man? Well, surely you must have heard in your lifetime, a Tom cat meowing away when Tabby’s on heat. Sensing the need to mate, the Tabby may or may not be receptive to the Tom who thinks he’s so desirable. Then what does Tom do? He meows his heart out, pulling up every trick from his sleeve, whether in truth & sincerity or in falsehood & captivity, Tom’s objective is to get the pussy. No time spent in getting to know Tabby or to love Tabby, Tom just wants to be Tom. In light of the many flaws in the process of finding the man in question, I have thought about what this man should be. This will then narrow down my selection criteria to weed out the Hit & Runs, Wham Bam Slams & Meow-Meows. It would be great if he would run to the pharmacy in the midst of his work to get you a bottle of ProBiotics when he’s found out you had food poisoning the day before. If he would spent time learning about your interest & what matters most to you. If he would detect the slightest hint of trouble from your voice over the telephone. If he would not let you carry heavy stuff. If he would tell you stories to keep you interested. If he would take you back to his hometown & endure teasing from his family members for doing touristy stuff with you like picking rubber seeds in rubber estates & playing with chickens in the farm. If he would hike up to almost the peak of Gunung Ledang waterfalls to soak your troubles away with you in the cool rushing waterfalls. If he would call you when he’s halfway across the world from you. If he would find an excuse to wine & dine you even if there’s no occasion. If he would call you when he has a matter to think about. If he would wait patiently for you to browse the lingerie section while you try to decide which one. If he would forego business lunches to eat with you instead. If he would send you flowers because he thought of you. If he would write you long letters even though you live in the same city. If he would remember birthdays, anniversaries & important dates. If he would have a heart for the faith you have in you. If he would propose to you not because he thinks he can live with you but because he can’t live without you. If……so many ifs. I figured this man can only be found in one other person besides God. And he’s here.

2005-03-04T10:59:00.001+08:00

It is...

2005-03-04T10:59:00.000+08:00

...very...

2005-03-04T10:58:00.000+08:00

...clear...

2005-03-04T10:57:00.000+08:00

...that we are...

2005-03-04T10:46:00.001+08:00

....more....

2005-03-04T10:46:00.000+08:00

....blessed....

2005-03-04T10:45:00.000+08:00

.....than they. Whenever I'm sent pictures like these to remind me of what a wonderful life I have, I thank God for putting me in my mother's womb when I was thought of. I thank God that I had a good education & am able to think & fend for myself. I thank God for the burden He has placed upon my heart to reach out to the unreached & stretch forth my hand to those who need it. I may be only one but I thank God for the multitude of people whom He had sent to me to make things possible for His Kingdom. I live but once. I want to make it count. I want to be able to move in accordance to His will. I thank God to be alive.

The Measure of Success

2005-03-01T10:31:00.000+08:00

Shark's Purse!

Nokia phones. The latest & hippest. Power packed notebooks. PDAs. Armani suits. Tickets to the philharmonic orchestra. Going to the philharmonic orchestra. Titles on your name cards. Titles to your name. Titles for your properties. Invitation to grand openings. Invitations to grace openings. Celebrity status. Celebrity circles. Magazine interviews. To London for lunch & back. A week at a French Polynesian island. Having your own island. Being a jet setter. Jet setting on your own jet. A dream life?

The world tells us to achieve this much, enjoy this much, obtain great things & reign over others to be significant. What this world has done is, give birth to a society of user or loser mentality where you get as much out of them before they can get anything out of you. Life on the fast track has become a life of chasing fortune that you would leave for your children to squander away. Your choice of friends would be among the high flying elites of the Tattler-kind. One who overflows with an accent, artificial or otherwise. The flashy recent new rich, driving flashy new cars with flashy rims & leather interiors. Suddenly it’s so hip to hang around the So & Sos. Members of private golf clubs. Residents of elite neighbourhood. Cigar-totting chaps who burn away a couple of thousand dollars of Chivas or Martell a night. A lifestyle that would require you to live beyond your means only to laden you with bills that you can’t upkeep. And leave you with superficial friends who think you might be useful to have around. For now.

I used to think that all that was the norm having grown up in a club that provided all the convenience of my healthy pursuits in sports & all of my so-called friends. Unfortunately, they only talk about where they’ve been shopping, what holidays they took with their parents’ money & the hairdresser’s appointment that would be the highlight of their week. It’s great to pamper yourself but when you close your mind to what’s happening in the world, what’s there left to appreciate? At the time, I was very concerned about the environment. I was also involved with speaking up for animal rights. I used to write in to the newspapers. The radio station, Blue Network, what Radio 4 was known by then, used to read out my letters before a song. I would talk about environmental issues. These seemed trivial to my shopaholic childhood friends whom I was happy to outgrow. I had to work & earn my way. To me, there was certainly more to life than wearing branded clothes & having high tea at Regent Hotel every Saturday. I needed to find my way in the world where I would achieve great things. Do the impossible. Break records. Perform feats. Anything. The need to prove myself in the world was so great that it overwhelmed me. I wanted to win prizes for my pursuits. I wanted recognition.

I was diving when I found a shark’s purse (egg casing of sharks that look like a lady’s purse). I was elated, not to mention, screaming for joy at the life that hatched judging by the empty, broken case. Then I thought about success. This must have been the most successful for the sharks, to survive against the odds of shark finning, coral reef decimation, predatory fear of other sharks… The definition falls by far of the human standard of success which is measured by wealth, fame & fortune. By class, creed & caste. Worst still, if you are in India, you are doomed to fail if you belong to the lower castes. How such a simple thing as finding a shark’s purse can bring so much excitement to me. I was going to tell everyone about this life that had been born! Rare enough that we see sharks in our waters but to discover life is really something. I had to rethink success. I have the privilege of learning a great deal about the ocean & about life. What would happen if I take that to the grave with me? It isn’t about going out with So & So or be seen with Who & Who for the sake of being a somebody, it’s about how you live life. My goodness, how on earth did I take so long to discover that? It’s about what you make of your life. It’s about how you share the marvels of life with others. It’s about how I should share my fantastic experiences & amazing discoveries with people who care to listen. It’s about sharing the gospel. God has enabled me with gifts that would benefit His people. And I’m going to share it. The shark will not do well if it remains in the purse. It has to break out & live. Only then will it find success for its species.

For I am already being poured out, and the time of my release is here. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith. Now there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, shall give me at that Day; and not to me only, but also to all those who love His appearing. 2 Tim 4:6 - 8

Feed the flock of God among you, taking the oversight, not by compulsion, but willingly; nor for base gain, but readily; nor as lording it over those allotted to you by God, but becoming examples to the flock. And when the Chief Shepherd shall appear, you shall receive a never-fading crown of glory. 1 Peter 5:2 – 4

I think the crowns would be more than anything man could ever give me. In knowing what I’m running the race for, has redefined my measure of success.

The Natural Selection of Man

2005-02-24T18:55:00.000+08:00

Sunrise at Karak Highway

My journey to the islands has begun! I was on the Karak Highway to the east coast when I saw the sunrise over the haze at about 7am. The majestic trees from a distance form little clumps of varied shapes & seeing how lush the place is, I’m wondering when my jungles will be shaved again for another super highway. I’m glad on the other hand, that this highway has cut my traveling time by 2 hours. Quite significant considering my journey usually takes 8 hours. Along the way, there were so many distractions, I made a few stops just to take photos of eagles perched upon leafless trees! There was an animal that caught my eye & seeing how huge it was, I took several pictures of it & was debating with Rachael, who came along, as to whether it was a leopard cat, tiger, or monkey. King of the Jungle??? It wasn’t moving so I presumed it must have been sleeping. Then I shouted at the top of my lungs at the creature….. “Oiiiiiiii!!!!!!”……. “Wake uuuuuuuuuuuuuuppppp!” “Oiiii!!!!” while Rachael sat there in fits of laughter. We looked into the camera CCD screen to get a closer look & turned to look at the creature only to find it on the other side of the tree branch! Then this creature climbed to the middle & higher branch, & shook the tree violently before finding another spot on the tree to snooze again…… Hmmm……..Clash of the Titans? Baboon on strike? It sure wasn’t a normal monkey!

Heaven forbids if we had evolved from them! I don’t see any missing link at all! God created you & me, & gave us dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, over the cattle, over all the earth, over all creepers creeping over the earth. (Taken from part of Genesis 1:26) And you tell me I came from a monkey?!?!?! Charles Darwin may have been a marine biologist but a scientific theory is a hypothesis that has been extensively tested that it’s generally regarded as true BUT like any hypothesis, it is subject to rejection if enough evidence accumulates against it. Though science says it’s like that, science cannot make judgments about values, ethics or morality. Science can’t decide how to use the knowledge & technology it produces. Feelings & beliefs are BEYOND the scope of science. My ancestors were not monkeys neither did they just evolved from one. ‘I have made the earth, and created man on it; I with My hands have stretched out the heavens; and all their host have I commanded.’ Isaiah 45:12

To have the knowledge that you & I were thought of even before the creation of the universe, is something to marvel with! ‘In the beginning was the WORD, the WORD was with God, and the WORD was God.’ John 1:1 The WORD here is Jesus.

The time span between the Old & the New Testament was 400 years & yet, something so relevant was said in the book of John about the book of Genesis. Look at Genesis 1:26 again & verse 27,‘And God said, Let Us make man in Our image, after Our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the heavens, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over all the creepers creeping on the earth. And God created man in His image; in the image of God He created him. He created them male and female.’ Why did God use ‘Us’ & not ‘Me.’Who was He referring to? Who was with Him at the time of creation?

Three hornbills & a snake later, we passed the wildlife trail. To what God has given us, each new day, brings new hope. What’s there to argue with science when a new heaven & a new earth will emerge one day with no more death, no more sorrow, no crying & no pain…?

New Day!

Tin Kong - The Ancient of The Chinese

2005-02-17T19:49:00.000+08:00

My Red Wallet I chose this day to change my wallet to a bright red one I bought before the new year. Today is the day where the Chinese especially the Hokkiens, pay tribute to ‘Tin Kong.’ It is a day of worship, a day of consecration on the ninth day of the Lunar New Year. The night before, fireworks were displayed in full splendour while the thunderous sound of firecrackers echoed through the neighbourhood as they light them up in succession to welcome the ‘God In Heaven.’ Just two days ago on the seventh day of the new year, the Chinese celebrated ‘Yan Yat,’ which means ‘A Day of Mankind’ or ‘Everyone’s Birthday.’ Then in the days to come, ‘Chap Goh Mei’ marks the fifteenth night & the final day of the Chinese New Year celebrations. Looking at all these customs, never have I once asked what they all meant as we (the Chinese) had accepted them as part of growing up & were taught to keep traditions alive. So what is the meaning of these 15 days & how did all these originate? ‘Kor Nin’ symbolises the coming/passing of the new year but the word ‘nin’ actually means monster/beast. The Nokia phone ad is a great depiction of how the ‘nin’ comes by, terrorises the princess in the carriage, got deserted by her carriers & rescued by a courageous boy with a string of firecrackers to ward the ‘nin’ off. Finding no match to light up, he suffered a blow then goes off to borrow a Nokia mobile phone that his friends had been using to download ringtones & by playing the ‘firecracker’ tone, caused the monster to disintegrate! The ‘Hong’ (red) is also very prominent in the auspicious celebration which is supposed to ward off the ‘nin.’ The hanging of a red cloth on the door frame does exactly that but these days, it’s supposed to ward off evil which is no surprise if the whole house is decorated with red ornaments!!! What a prosperous scene. No pun intended but this is exactly what ‘kor nin’ depicts. The 5000 years of Chinese history, had preserved traditions from the roots of our forefathers to modern times. When God used Moses to deliver Israel out of Egypt, He did signs & wonders to cause the Pharaoh to release the captives yet hardened his heart at the same time. He gave an order to keep the ordinance for all generations. From Exodus 12:1 And the Lord spoke to Moses and Aaron in the land of Egypt, saying, this month shall be to you the beginning of months. It shall be the first month of the year to you. Speak to all the congregation of Israel, saying, in the tenth of this month they shall take to them each man a lamb for a father's house, a lamb for a house. And if the household is too little for the lamb, let him and his neighbor next to his house take according to the number of the souls, each one, according to the eating of his mouth, you shall count concerning the lamb. Your lamb shall be without blemish, a male of the first year. You shall take from the sheep or from the goats. And you shall keep it up until the fourteenth day of the same month. And the whole assembly of the congregation of Israel shall kill it in the evening. And they shall take some of the blood and strike on the two side posts and upon the upper door post of the houses in which they shall eat it. And they shall eat the flesh in that night, roasted with fire, and unleavened bread. They shall eat it with bitter herbs. Do not eat of it raw, nor boiled at all with water, but roasted with fire, its head with its legs, and with its inward parts. And you shall not let any of it remain until the morning. And that which remains of it until the morning you shall burn with fire. And you shall eat of it this was with your loins girded, your sandals on your feet, and your staff in your hand. And you shall eat it in a hurry. It is the Lord’s passover. For I will pass through the land of Egypt this night, and will smite all the first-born in the land of Egypt, both man and beast. And I will execute judgments against all the gods of Egypt. I am the Lord. And the blood shall be a sign to you upon the houses where you are. And when I see the blood, I will pass over you. And the plague shall not be upon you for a destruction when I smite in the land of Egypt. And this day shall be a memorial to you. And you shall keep it as a feast to the Lord throughout your generations. You shall keep it as a feast by a law forever. You shall eat unleavened bread seven days; even the first day you shall put away leaven out of your houses. For whoever eats leavened bread from the first day until the seventh day, that soul shall be cut off from Israel. The Ordinance of New Year. And on the first day shall be a holy gathering, and in the seventh day there shall be a holy gathering for you. No manner of work shall be done in them, except that which every man must eat, that only may be done by you. And you shall keep the Feast of Unleavened Bread. For in this same day I have brought your armies out of the land of Egypt. Therefore you shall keep this day in your generations by a law forever. In the first month, on the fourteenth day of the month at evening, you shall eat unleavened bread, until the twenty-first day of the month at evening. Seven days there shall be no leaven found in your houses. For whoever eats that which is leavened, even that soul shall be cut off from the congregation of Israel, among the aliens and among the natives of the land. You shall eat nothing leavened. In all your dwelling-places you shall eat unleavened bread. Then Moses called for all the elders of Israel and said to them, draw out and take a lamb for yourselves according to your families, and kill the passover. And you shall take a bunch of hyssop and dip in the blood in the bowl, and strike the lintel and the doorposts with the blood in the bowl. And none of you shall go out of the door of his house until the morning. For the Lord will pass through to strike the Egyptians. And when He sees the blood upon the lintel, and on the two side posts, the Lord will pass over the door, and will not allow the destroyer to come into your houses to strike you. And you shall observe this thing for a law to you and to your sons forever. And it shall be, when you have come to the land which the Lord will give you, according as He has promised, that you shall keep this service. And it will be, when your sons shall say to you, What is this service to you? Then you shall say, it is the sacrifice of The Lord’s passover, who passed over the houses of the sons of Israel in Egypt, when He struck the Egyptians and delivered our houses. And the people bowed and worshiped. And the sons of Israel went away and did as the Lord had commanded Moses and Aaron; so they did. And it happened at midnight the Lord struck all the first-born in the land of Egypt, from the first-born of Pharaoh that sat on his throne to the first-born of the captive that was in the prison; also all the first-born of cattle. Till Exodus 12:29 Could it be that the ‘Tin Kong’ of the Chinese is really the God in Heaven of the old testament? Where the dispersion of people at the Tower of Babel had sent the Chinese to China, away from the rest of the world yet kept the ordinance of God? Could the seventh day be the holy gathering that God talked about? Could it also be that the red cloth hung above the door was actually the blood of the lamb struck upon the doorposts on the fourteenth night, to ward off the Angel of Death at the Passover at midnight which happens to be Chap Goh Mei? Could it be that Christianity is no longer a ‘western’ religion? For if the Chinese had been worshipping a God from the beginning of time, then even the custom of animal sacrifice on an altar with incense, gold & oil, is very much likened to the practice stated in Leviticus minus the idol. What do we make of all that we have practiced then? Just a celebration of new year? Or an ordinance of Passover kept throughout the generations for us to remember that it was the Lord who delivered Israel out of Egypt..? So should the blood of the lamb that preserved those behind the door also preserve us? Could it be that this sacrificial lamb, often used in the atonement of sin, depicted the Messiah who had come to do the same for us?

The View That WAS.....

2005-02-12T16:26:00.000+08:00

There goes the view of my skyline....! Strange how we take for granted the structures that stand before us in our very places of residence, our own backyard, trees lining the road that we take to travel to work, we accept as part of our landscape; the same birds that wake you in the morning, the familiar sounds that greet you when you open your eyes...... Imagine losing all that. Unimaginable? Well, I've just had the tree in front of my apartment chopped before my eyes & finding all the trees on the road leading to my place cut & butchered to my horror. The excuse they gave when I hollered from my balcony was that the trees are in danger of falling. I asked them how they'd know this & the reply was, "Kalau saya tak tahu, mana awak boleh tahu?" (If I don't know, would you be able to know better?) How far would I get by arguing with them? Would they stop cutting the tree? Would they heed my call to stop because I know of nests up there? Or the favourite spot of the woodpecker & squirrel that plies up & down this tree? Angry as I was, I stood there powerless with my camera capturing their act. They spared the rest of the trees & went on to fell the other trees down the road. My landscape was spared for now but what about later? Before they take the next building down in the name of development, cut my trees & reduce my jungles, or some flood comes upon us that might ruin things for good, let me capture the remnants of what God hath made...... The view that WAS....

Landmark of Independence

2005-02-12T14:20:00.000+08:00

The Sultan Abdul Samad Building The best thing about being in KL when Chinese New Year comes about is how devoid of traffic the town becomes. Chinese people stay home in anticipation of guests, reunion of sorts happen, and in that, I revel at being Chinese...! The aunties will feed you to the point of exploding but the best part is enjoying it by justifying with the promise to yourself that you would work out afterwards. Friends whom you normally would not get to see due to their busy schedules, suddenly become available as they too, are stuck in KL without any travel plans. What do I do then, when I've fulfilled filial duties & my group of friends have left me alone for their hometowns??? I drag TV Smith out for some midnight shutter-release! The full album also features TV Smith in a compromising position as he gets acquainted with the cat in the middle of the Jalan Raja. I know I'll get called cacat for doing this.....

The Powers That Be

2005-02-07T14:00:00.000+08:00

The pillar of rays My heart went out to two people who were dropped from the performance at the eleventh hour. Having served in the performing arts for just over a year & a half, I have been through the works myself. While I’ve always been known as the rebel, the two concerned has never been known to lose their cool. Having received a frustrated email jolted the entire department for the insensitivity rendered by the leaders when they decided to axe the introduction to the Christmas play last year. The rehearsals? Oh, they’ve become a part of life…..and the disappointments???? Oh, plenty but I’m not going to share them here. I think it’s sad that we weren’t told of the chop till this email surfaced. I think our drama director, James, had always stressed upon MINISTRY as the reason for the performing arts department. It’s unfortunate that the upper ranks don’t see it as such & stress upon other things, namely for the ‘look good’ & ‘feel good’ factor. I read the responses from other members citing their ‘inabilities’ or ‘inadequacies’ as the reason for not wanting to take part in the Easter performance. I certainly do not agree that you’d have to perfect or good enough in order to serve the Lord in this ministry. I had to go for ‘extra’ rehearsals because of my fumbling of lines. I’m not perfect, neither am I close to even being a Bollywood star (for the dramatic effect…) but because brothers like James & ‘Belly Boy’ would sacrifice their afternoon nap to come 3 hours earlier than the scheduled 5 hours of rehearsal to help me rehearse.....over 10 times! Think about what better things they could be doing than to listen to me go on & on until they can even recite my lines? Why are they doing it? Why am I doing it? Because we have to? No, but because it’s a JOY to serve one another while doing it unto God! I wouldn’t want to lose out on being able to minister to one another just because we feel abased. Why focus on our weaknesses when the Lord had said that He will make us strong? Do you not know that someone, somewhere, needs to listen to what you have to say about life & issues? And that someone, somewhere may need you to listen to them because nobody has??? Quit & you become a loser. We need God most when we are deceived into thinking that we are NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Let me share this with you. One fine day, a few of us decided to ‘hang out’ together. So Rachel, Baby B & myself, went bowling while passing time to go watch Shark Tales (having heard so much about Lenny in the backstage thru our very own ‘Lenny’…..). Thereafter, we adjourned to dinner at Kuchai & suddenly God told me to take them for a drive. Oh well, took them out for drive, I did. I brought them to this place in Ulu Langat where this picture was taken. When I finally downloaded this picture onto my PC, I saw the beam that shot up to the sky & thought, WOW. No one will ever know which light or bulb did not turn on or wasn’t working. The majestic lights when switched on in numbers appear to be far more magnificent than that of those other buildings standing on its own without TENAGA. When we look from this distance, everything seems to be so apparent. If we were to stand at KLCC proper, we would be overwhelmed by those lights & excitement & we would merely be standers by. BUT WE ARE NOT. Each one of you is the lights that make up the KLCC in the church. One may have more energy than the other, one may consume more power but give out equally much. One may need the adjacent power from the stronger light to complement the shine. The blue, red & yellow light need to shine together to get an even AMBER! How can they work on its’ own without looking too blue, too red or too yellow…? Precisely, how can we work properly on our own without all the members of the cast? THE PERFORMING ARTS DEPARTMENT IS THE ONLY DEPARTMENT IN CHURCH THAT HAS NO AGE BARRIER. Every member of Christ’s body has a part to play. Be it massaging the shoulders of Tink, dropping the banner for the leader at the precise time or causing the fits of laughter in the backstage, or christianing members with a new names like ParaParaPenguin, Judas the Carrot, Lenny-Break-Into-Song-Mimic-LateLee…..I think we ought to stay together for Easter & SHINE FOR GOD! People will continue to have their input about us, SO WHAT? Are we going to let them dictate how we are going to be, how many people we touch, how much joy our little drama outreaches bring to the old folks homes or how many people we can bring to church??? Heavens, no! To my cast members, it will not make me think any less of you if you think you are passed over because you feel that you were not good enough. To me, you have been great. I think you owe it to God who called you to ministry in the first place. Well, Christmas is over & Easter is coming. Let’s put on war paint & give them a good show, shall we?

The Powerful Gift of SMILES

2005-02-07T12:42:00.000+08:00

As Grace & I had lunch today after church service, she reminded me of an email that I’d sent about my strange encounter on the road. Recalling that day in December 2003, I began to marvel at what she’d remembered. I left the house as usual to have my breakfast at my favourite coffee shop that I’d been patronising regularly for six years. I’m seldom seen wearing shades but on that morning, the sun’s unusually bright rays, hurt my eyes so I put on my fierce-looking specs. I came to a halt at the junction of Sri Damansara & LDP upon seeing the vast number of heavy vehicles in front at the traffic light queue. I began to reply a sms to a friend who sent me a picture message of ‘a cup of coffee’ made with love & heaps of care, my daily love fix from friends. Just then, the driver of the van which stopped beside me started waving frantically at me to get my attention. I looked at him, he smiled as he waved & blew me an air-kiss. I didn’t flinch, neither did I feel embarrassed. The cheek some people have to get some cheap thrills, I thought. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Wondering in amazement why he had done that. My heart began to smile. Just then I noticed the three passengers behind the driver, was wearing T-shirts of the same design. And as I stared at the van during this weird moment, the furthest passenger got up & moved across the other two, stuck his hand out of the window & waved frantically to me…! Then it struck me when I looked at their happy faces that they were all handicapped & mentally-challenged. I waved back & offered my wide smile of humility. I quickly grabbed my note pad & wrote words big enough to be seen by the people in the van, ‘JESUS LOVES YOU!’ They looked at my note pad & an excitement broke out in the van & soon, all the passengers & the driver were waving, smiling & blowing me more kisses….!

I couldn’t help but feel ashamed of my preconceived ideas & of how quick I was to judge the person who was serving these under-privileged people. I cried & I cried. The joy overwhelmed me so, to know that the Lord had sent such special people to do simple gestures to make my day. A reaffirmation that Jesus acknowledges our effort to serve Him…! They could have waved at any other car. I didn’t think my car was of any significance. There I was, looking as fierce as ever in my Oakleys, & there were these people so filled with love that just by sharing a wave & a smile, brought indescribable joy to my life. Love knows no boundaries nor race nor creed. Where your heart is, is where God is also……

Beyond The Wonders

2005-02-04T15:34:00.000+08:00

In the graveyard, there exists a frangipani tree that shades the resting place of the deceased......

....being watched over by a true beauty within the branches above.

Beauty is but passing, charm is but deceitful, With the many splendours Nature was made to be, I'm blessed For I am able to see. My soul longs & even faints for Your courts, My heart & my flesh cries out for You, You who made a house for the sparrow, A nest for the swallow to lay her young, I am blessed from strength to strength, In passing through the valley, Your sun is my grace And your glory, my shield.

Love Letters

2005-02-02T17:18:00.000+08:00

Where is my Valentine?

In this day & age where pen & paper seem to be obsolete when it comes to letter writing, I can’t help but reminisce about the times where I used to put thoughts to nicely decorated onion skin paper or tracing paper with coloured pens & pencils, addressed to my pen pals & friends abroad. The sound of the postman’s motorcycle engine used to bring thrills & suspense to my eager heart but it must also be the postman's most dreaded destination as my dog charges at him each time he arrives…! My ever possessive Labrador-cross never liked men in uniform anyway…

It’s getting increasingly difficult to write an email let alone a letter. The words that I have to articulate & the thought of whether that person would reply my letter soon, seem to be my consideration when I keep in touch. There were love letters……wouldn’t you like to know what was written……ah but then, I hardly receive those now. Ok, ok, I think you’d want some ideas of how a love letter should be written since Valentine’s Day is coming & you are out of words, which is always an excuse to have a peek at other people’s love content. Well, here is just an excerpt of what my ex wrote, which I cherish but am not sad that things didn’t work out. I took those pleasant memories & threw those unpleasant ones away. He’s still my friend & he’s moved on like the rest who had while I’m still here, waiting for a love letter from anyone who cares enough to write & make my day.....

"I've just hit the first wave and beginning to comprehend the effect of numbness. Phew...I'm just finning up to the surface to have a breather as my treasure lies below me as a sunken ship awaiting to be explored in many ways...(wondering)! That would be you, my sweetheart……”

In every one of those passionately-written letters, had the ‘Lumm Factor.’ The ones that make you go weak in the knees, tummy fluttering, light-headedness & possibly even heart palpitations. Hmmm…..what a factor. John, my official cupid, is only sending another one in March or so, he says. But by then, Valentine’s Day is over & my chances of receiving flowers & love letters will be gone. No doubt about it being an over-commercialised day & that love needs no occasion to speak for itself but this year will be my third year without expressive letters & flowers!!!!! I want flowers! I want flowers! *Stomp* *Stomp*….. Oh alright, letters will do as well. At least I wouldn’t have to feel so left out when everyone goes on a date that night while I book myself a movie with my similar situation friends who are nothing but great friends. Last Valentine I conducted an exam for my students but one of them cooked a scrumptious meal for us while they sat for their scuba paper. Still, no love letters. No pretty envelopes to open, no postman in sight, no more dog, no flowers, no chocolates, no amusement. This does not call for self-pity but for self-help.

I’d like to do something very different this time around. If you have ever written a love letter to anyone, I’d like to have a copy for keepsakes & pretend that it was written to me. Well, at least I can still be made to feel good even if I don’t get a date this Valentine! I will appreciate every effort to write & make my day & for every originally-written letter I receive, I’m going to personalise one of my underwater creature photos & send it back via email & the letter with the highest Lumm Factor will be posted on my blog. Being a graphic-oriented person, I especially like decorated letters & the use of colours. You may scan in hand-written ones & send it too pummkin@gmail.com Even if it’s an electronic letter, it’s still accepted. Remember the Lumm Factor when you write….. I think this year, the cock is finally going to crow.

Food For Your Being?

2005-02-01T13:53:00.000+08:00

Picture courtesy of TV Smith. In the course of food preparation, this restaurateur not only feeds his customers but also feeds their souls. Can you capture more of this kinds of instances....???

SO CACAT

2005-01-31T23:32:00.000+08:00

Cacat – pronounced as ‘cha-cha-ad,’ means handicapped, incapacitated, disabled, mental or physical disablement. During informal conversations, we tend to exclaim or remark how ‘cacat’ something is, denoting that the subject of conversation is inefficient or incapable of producing results. In our multi-racial society, the origin of this word in the Malay language, has somewhat evolved to a multiple meaning word that’s used to describe a multitude of things EXCEPT the real thing. Here are some of the instances I’ve found this word being used…. “Cacat!” said with conviction denotes that the person on the receiving end is not handicapped but behaves like a twat. “Why you so cacat?” said with disbelieve, denotes that the person making this statement is actually amazed at the incapacity of the person in question, of handling situation or matter at hand. Usually implicates that the person is really asking, ‘why can’t you understand? Cacat.’ “Don’t make it cacat…” usually means don’t distort the object to the point of being unusable. “He went all cacat & started to scream…’ usually said by Pastor to explain condition of demon-possessed fellow being brought in for deliverance. ‘That cacat took all my money & disappeared!” – A swindle described by businessman to his peers. “Your thing is cacat…” No, not the kind of thing you are thinking about, it’s the repairman telling of the irreparable or out of order object. “You’re so cacat…” signifies how selfish/inconsiderate/self-centred/egotistical you are but worded in this manner so as not to be too offensive. “Don’t act cacat…” means stop pretending. “The cacat of cacats!” is the indescribable, unmatchable, incontestable, incomprehensible confidence trickster of all time. The king of Cacats. Jeff Ooi is cacat. He doesn’t know that his favourite Hai Peng Coffee can be found in Taman Tun. TV Smith is even more cacat. He finished the Welsh Rarebit & Kaya Toast when I was not looking. “Cacaaaaaattttttttt!” said between friends, usually means we acknowledge that we must be cacat to be friends. In conclusion, we are living in a world of cacats, with varying degree of cacatdom, each struggling to find their own recesses in society to be fitting & in hope to stand out a little cacater than usual to get noticed & get accepted. Of course, due to the uniqueness of individuals, no two cacats are alike. To fully comprehend why we were ‘fearfully & wonderfully created,’ we must first accept all the cacats in the world just as Christ had accepted & forgiven all the cacats ever lived. My, what a task I have to undertake to be a disciple fighting the cacats & loving the cacats at the same time...! And it goes without saying, it takes a Cacat to know a Cacat! From the Supreme Highness Empress of Cacat, pummkin

On A Hill Quite Far Away...

2005-01-24T19:16:00.000+08:00

When I agreed to go on a photo-chase with TV Smith, (see his version of the story on the link) I wasn’t prepared to brave the cold up the hills but the prospect of seeing birds & feeling on top of this world in the jungles of Fraser’s Hill made me put aside my tropical inclinations. Our plan was to visit the countryside & the quaint town of Kuala Kubu Baru. And I wanted to have my Cognac bottle of drink. In case you make me out to be a bottleholic, there is a stall that serves herbal drink in liquor bottles that accompany the lunch! They still served lunch but not my bottle of Cognac anymore…. I got to have my Hainanese bread though, at the ever faithful Weng Lok Bakery. RM0.90 per loaf. This serves my carbo-cravings on long drives. We drove into the Orang Asli village in KKB Permai where I shot the bougainvillea, cockscomb & other village pictures. The kids were glad to see us as much as TV Smith was glad to see their laundry out in the sun…! As we traveled on the road to the hills, not only did the scenery change but the roads as well. The dam is now 110metres deep & very wide. The wind was about to blow my ponytail horizontal as I steadied myself to take panorama shots of what used to be my secret sanctuary… I wonder if I can scuba dive in here… The Gap at the foothills..... Close up of moss on the ground... Many twirls & turns later, we got to Fraser’s hill top…..only to find all the public amenities closed. Sight see, we did. I had to scramble back into the car each time the chilly winds seared pass. It’s great! The car was like an oven, providing me with heat as we scavenged the fringes for ferns & such. I longed for my bird. Whatever bird, it has to be a bird I hadn’t seen before. Before twilight, we headed downhill only to drop in to 2 bird watchers at The Gap, a resthouse, which was also closed, by the way. And a peer into this ultra canggih telescope brought forth an awesome vision of a Black Thighed Falconet some kilometers away!!! I knew I’d get my bird…Next thing on my wish-list…a super powerful telescope for birdwatching. When I have gotten it figured out in my head, I might illustrate it & put it up here for you to see. Going home with the memory of this magnificent little creature is a treat despite not having a picture taken of it. It’s truly a wonder as a bird of prey, the smallest in the world, found here in Malaysia on a hill quite far away…. More in my Wandering Across The Countryside album...

The Church Is For Dead People

2005-01-24T14:08:00.001+08:00

Being born to a family of multi-beliefs, I was caught in between a non-practicing Roman Catholic father, a Buddhist mother, a goddess of mercy-worshipper nanny, a Christian eldest sister & a Jeffrey Archer follower older sister in my adolescent years. When my eldest sister returned from the States while I was in Form 1, she shared with me the story of how someone died for my sins & that I would be forgiven & would go to heaven. That seemed like the most logical & sound way to live despite not knowing the means to get to the end. I did what most new believers would do, go to church on Sundays, participate in everything & of course read the Bible. Then at the age of 17, when I got a taste of what the world offered, having met Duran Duran, Tommy Page, Danni Minogue, Indecent Obsession in person, I was even more curious at the possibilities of life itself outside the church. Needless to say, I spent the next decade experiencing the pleasures of mankind, the torrents of relationships, the art of being a woman, the challenge of being an animal rights’ activist & the struggle of being a marine conservationist. I took on challenges that not many a lady would venture into. Some were stories of success by man’s standards, some were costly mistakes I’d rather not remember. I thought that if my father was an extraordinary sportsman, as reported countlessly in the newspapers after championing SEA, Asian, Commonwealth & ASEAN Games as a shooter, the apple shouldn’t fall that far from the tree. Somehow, I felt that I was still short of God’s standards, lacking in my biological father’s superb capabilities as national shooter & golfer plus I didn’t feel worthy to be in church. Then of course, in my line of duty, I met people who are cheats. People who tried to get into my pants. People who break promises. People who betrayed me. People who were nasty, haughty, wicked & vindictive. Adulterers. They were Christians too. Some still go to church, some don’t. Maybe that’s not so bad after all. I’d just be adding to the numbers. I’m not that much better off either. From where we can see it, that’s how they appeared to me. The culprits. The drunkards. The bandits. The wife beaters. The liars. The drug pushers. The gamblers. The gangsters. The sinners. The multiple daters. That was then. The church is the only place that would accept them. This is now. I’d just give you a brief of what encountering God in person, was like. A humbling experience in Maldives in which I was deafened & crippled from diving. I had certainly not expected such intensity of a meeting neither had I expected God to appear in the form of a big fish that was trapped, caught & subsequently bludgeoned to death. Yet when I looked into the fish’s eye, I knew I had met my Maker. So it’s my story. It wasn’t until I rededicated my life to God that things began to happen. I got my hearing back & God restored my ability to dive. Things began to pick up at feverish pace. I was quickened to do things which I had not done before. Including going to church & seeing things. Well, in church there are those culprits still, but there are also those who have been reformed & restored to life through the miracles that worked in them including the healing of cancer, stroke, & the restored relationships. What then, did I make of those whom I had the privilege to witness their lives’ testimonies…? Were they for real? Why is the church so full of these people? I should be thankful for being counted as worthy to experience God. The cleaning up of my act has begun. I can’t stand the thought that I would be giving an account of my life before God when the day comes, detailing every single event of my life, trying to justify why I did this & did not do that. I began to lose the interest in going to night spots. I grew inhibitions & modesty in my dressing. I really don’t know what to do with my see-throughs & cropped tops now. The only time I bare my skin is when I’m dressing up to go diving. I developed a distaste for horror movies. I wasn’t as obsessed with weight watching as I used to be & certainly am not anorexic nor bulimic. The only time I’m ostentatious is when I’m on stage acting. Intimate relationship? Non existent & not missing it. ‘Bird’ ogling at hip joints has turned to bird watching in Kuala Selangor. I am able to break into song when I’m visiting old folks homes to bring a smile upon the bedridden & the lonely. Horrors, I’m even able to hold their wrinkly hand as I sing! I became a magnet to children especially the orphaned ones or those from broken families. I’m able to cry without feeling silly or sad. I am able speak a different language that has never been taught nor heard of. I really have this feeling that I’m not of this world. What on earth is God doing in my life? Why do I love every single minute of life when life used to be such a struggle? Is there something that I’d missed out on in the 10 years that I was living my own way? Or was that a training ground for me for what is to happen in the future??? Now that I’m attending church, why are these people seemed set apart? I realised that the church is not just the building that houses the believers. It is the body of Christ. And each member is a part of it.. The selfless members who are ever so willing to extend the hospitality; the home fellowship that allows more intimacy with one another in a smaller group within the church that provides the spiritual covering from the principalities, powers & rulers of darkness suddenly becomes an integral part of living; & the ministry of performing arts that allow even the most timid of souls to exude boldness in character is really something to reckon with. What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin so that grace may abound? Let it not be! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? Do you not know that as many of us as were baptised into Jesus Christ were baptised into His death? Therefore we were buried with Him by baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father; even so we also should walk in newness of life. For if we have been joined together in the likeness of His death, we shall also be in the likeness of His resurrection; knowing this, that our old man is crucified with Him in order that the body of sin might be destroyed, that from now on we should not serve sin. For he who died has been justified from sin. But if we died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him, knowing that when Christ was raised from the dead, He dies no more; death no longer has dominion over Him. For in that He died, He died to sin once; but in that He lives, He lives to God. Likewise count yourselves also to be truly dead to sin, but alive to God through Jesus Christ our Lord. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. Do not yield your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but yield yourselves to God, as one alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under Law, but under grace. What then? Shall we sin because we are not under Law, but under grace? Let it not be! Do you not know that to whom you yield yourselves as slaves for obedience, you are slaves to him whom you obey; whether it is of sin to death, or of obedience to righteousness. But thanks be to our God that you were the slaves of sin, but you have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine to which you were delivered. Then being made free from sin, you became the slaves of righteousness. I speak in the manner of men because of the weakness of your flesh; for as you have yielded your members as slaves to uncleanness, and to lawless act unto lawless act, even so now yield your members as slaves to righteousness unto holiness. For when you were the slaves of sin, you were free from righteousness. What fruit did you have then in those things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. But now, being made free from sin, and having become slaves to God, you have your fruit to holiness, and the end everlasting life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 6:1 - 23 In dying to ourselves, to our evil desires, our selfish acts, our strong will, our unrighteousness, our perverse thoughts, our pleasures of the flesh, we are dead to sin. We have the power then, to triumph over sin when we confess our sins & repent. The power of the blood of Christ forgives us of our trespasses & cleanses us of all unrighteousness. Only then, can we reign as members of the body of Christ which is the church because when one member suffers, the whole church suffers with it. The church is for people like me. I rejoice for I am dying daily & wanting to be fully dead.

Beauty and The Beef

2005-01-19T15:25:00.000+08:00

Cattle Show? Beauty pageants are often associated with cattle shows. I don’t see any comparison between beautiful wannabes with the beef trade but it’s always one of the two extreme ends that society adopts when it comes to beauty pageants. You are either for it or against it. People have gone as far as setting themselves on fire in a demonstration against the event while latuks, tan selis & the lotsa-money-CheenaMan who grace the event pay top dollars in the form of sponsorship in vying for the contestants. How many times have we heard jokes about the Ah Lian from Jinjang, Ipoh, Penang or even Kluang, responding to questions from the judges as they vie for the title? What is the judging process like? Why did that girl with the sweetest smile or the brainiest cells not make it to the top? Why do sexist’s jokes exist about the pageants? Let’s explore the Miss Malaysia/Universally pageant. Contestants are screened from the photos sent in to the organizers. They are shortlisted from the personal interviews. Then comes the contest where contestants spend a number of days in a hotel or resort, where the series of events will follow. These are what they call the publicity exercise. Visiting of sponsors, gracing their shops to attract attention while the paparazzi furiously clicks away at their personal favourites, with the top of Dolly & bottom of JLo to boot. The Subang Airports don’t get a chance. Almost everyday of the prelude to the event involves a lunch & dinner ‘gracing’ appointment for the sponsors. The amount of food served warrants the contestants to have eight stomachs like cows do. Then the obvious winner would be so unperturbed, that she would gorge on the meals but only to take a laxative pill before she sleeps & purges it all out throughout the night. How do one become the ‘obvious’ winner, you might ask. Well, it’s the Malaysia Boleh thing again, where a beauty title holder of another pageant, is allowed to enter this pageant by ‘invitation’ of the organiser. Of course she won. Curious? Now look at the other beauty pageant that this winner entered before Miss Universally. And that is Miss Malaysia/Worldly. Contestants had to be chaperoned & guarded like prisoners over 7 days in a hotel. There will be photoshoots upon photoshoots to get the girls in swimming costume, evening gowns & working attire where the entire press members fight to fill the spots. Nevermind that the organiser was hired to do the job by the franchise holder, he was more interested in displays of emotions, flamboyant flare ups & profane language than the welfare of the contestants as tales of break-ins to the rooms & peeping toms were made known to him. The franchise holder is only responsible for inviting the uninvited to unscheduled events where opportunities were made available for fancy propositions. Nevermind also that 17 out of the 20 girls do not speak English. Touching & stroking of laps is a universal language. When these girls, some barely 18, decline the invitation to the top three positions with money offer, the obvious thing befell them. Ostracision. Questions during the stage event on the glittery night only served to intensify the mood as eight questions were already given out the day before to pre-formulate each one properly before showtime. The eight shortlisted candidates step out to answer questions posed to them by a compere. Here are two examples:- Question: ‘Do you think women are better than men in top positions? If so, why?’ Answer: ‘Ah….yes. Errr…because, because….errr…..women are better than men because they are less emotional.’ Question: ‘Less emotional?’ Do you mean ‘more emotional’?’ Answer: ‘Ah yes, more emotional. Question: ‘More emotional or less emotional? Can you make up your mind?’ Answer: Ah yes… more or less emotional. Compere: Thank you. 2nd Question: ‘If you had one wish in the world, what would you wish for?’ Answer: *Blank look*…Err…one wish….*Stunned*…..heheheheheh…one wish…..*giggly*…errr…..*seconds passed* Compere: Thank you for your wish. How did they ostracise those who refused to conform in the pageant? They call the religious officers in to take them away immediately after the show. What a fiasco. Except that everyone of them managed to run away, never to be seen or caught again. The fly by night pageant is the best. Aptly titled Miss Malaysia/InterConnection. A grand affair held at the poshiest hotel in town where the top three winners would represent Malaysia in three separate pageants. Only to have the franchise revoked for failure in complying to certain conditions in the agreement which resulted in the absence of all three winners from their respective overseas pageants. Not all pageants are so bad but it’s hardly surprising how the jokes originate. There are, however, really smart cookies in the likes of Arianna, Lina & Zen. And you should take my story at face value for having been a cow who’s succeeded somewhat at the beef trade.

Handling of Spam & Spiders For Dummies

2005-01-19T13:48:00.000+08:00

I'm annoyed at how these programs infiltrate our systems without our knowledge & I'd better list this here in case someone sends me another invititation by plaxo, friendster, Hi5, birthdayalarm or anything remotely similar because of their policy of putting cookies & keeping your contact list on their server. They will “share” not “sell” these names to their so called partners who are SPAMMERS. That’s why it a FREE service. You can remove it from your PC immediately by going to Control Panel > Add/Remove Programs. First of all, there are several things you need to do to your computer. Internet sites put cookies & advertisement wares to your computer & it sits in the temporary internet files folder. Then some sites as you surf, put out web spiders/robots to “search” for email addresses & personal information like account passwords & stuff & collects them for spam. The ad-ware is to put annoying advertisements that also sends out a copy of your information to their home website for more spam the next time you log on to the internet. So by understanding the works of the spywares & adwares, here are the websites you can go to download a firewall & a spy robot for FREE. The files are of a considerable size if you only have dial-up so when you get home, cue the download & have your dinner. Of course, if you are in the office with a broadband connection, you ought to get it done as all these things can compromise the security of your system. Another thing you must have is a download accelerator that speeds up download times by more than 30%. Of course, all these would have to be shouldered & protected by an updated anti virus program like Norton or McAfee. (Click on update virus definition files BEFORE you begin any of these downloads. VERY IMPORTANT FIRST STEP). Let’s begin……. Go to www.zdnet.com & search for downloads. Once on that page, search for Sygate Personal Firewall or Outpost Firewall. Click to download. Once finished, unzip the file to install into your computer. This would act as a gatekeeper for all unsolicited information trying to get out of your computer & whatever program that’s trying to get in. You can then choose what you want to allow. Like Internet Explorer, your browser which you surf in, when you log onto the internet, the firewall would prompt you with a message “IExplorer.exe is trying to access 45727409294 port, do you want to allow it to access the network?” Just press yes & check the box so that it won’t asks you again. This is for programs that you want to have seamless access. Allow Norton or McAfee programs to access internet too. Restart computer. Once this is up your computer should be relatively safe from unsolicited spy programs, for the time being. You have do regular housekeeping. If you have a download accelerator, then you will save yourself a lot of headaches. FlashGet Basic version has spywares but the pro version doesn't. You can get it here Amazesoft. Go to Spybot to get the software by Patrick Kolla. Install it after download & click on 'check for problems' button. It searches for all the spy advertisements robots residing in your computer & anything that changes your computer registry. When everything’s found, uncheck those by Windows or Microsoft. Beware though, don’t alter anything that says Windows or Microsoft, as they may have added to your registry as they contain critical updates to keep your system up to date. Then click on fix selected problems. Then this will block them & click on immunise according to the steps shown. Play around with the features & see what else you want to do for your system. It’s really good. You need to check & immunise your system every now & then. Leave the computer on overnight to do all your virus scanning & spy bot checks so that you can follow up in the morning. Second adware removal application you should have is Adaware. Although SpyBot arrests a lot of spywares, it is not enough. You need Adaware too. Yes, a lot of tedious work but well worth it. Beware though, a lot of sites are inaccessible as some of them places cookies on your system as you enter. Now that my firewall is adjusted properly, it wouldn't even allow me to visit Site Meter. I constantly contest with TV Smith to the 'right' or better site tracker to use. Will tell you how to remove spam after this whole process is over. This is just the beginning to prevent more spam. I hate spam. Once all these are done, you need to open Internet Explorer & click on Tools, Internet Options, see the middle section with Temporary Internet files? Click on Delete Files & OK. If you have not done this before, it would take quite awhile as the computer destroys a large cache. Now that I've discovered Firefox, it's bye bye IE. Firefox blocks pop-ups & arrests them like an electric fly-swat! Once done, click on Delete Cookies. Do this once as there may have been a lot of personal information stored on your cookies for retrieval by third parties. Clearing your cache is CRUCIAL IF YOU DO INTERNET BANKING ON YOUR COMPUTER. DO IT AFTER YOU EACH TIME AFTER YOU FINISH YOUR TRANSACTION. Now you are ready to treat SPAM…! If you are not using Microsoft Outlook, then change to it immediately as it gives better control of your email & filters. Select import all mail & addresses when it prompts you that another mail client is your default mail reader. Change the default to Outlook. Then go to Tools, Send/Receive Settings, Define Send/Receive Groups, click Edit, then right at the bottom, click on Download complete item including attachments & check on the box – download items no larger than …….select 20kb. This way, only the headers are downloaded so you choose which ones you want fully downloaded & which ones you want to discard. The offensive messages stays on the server & when they are deleted they will be deleted on the server. When you right click, there are several options to either download message from server or delete. Delete that stupid SPAM. Since filtering begins as you download, you save precious resource, space & time when you discern what’s genuine & what’s not. The latest Outlook comes with Junk Mail control & Rights' Management capabilities. Now that you’ve finished, your system should be relatively secure from Spy & Ad cookies. Just remember to do your housekeeping at least once a week on & every other day for antivirus definition files. Do give me a shout should you get stuck at any point doing these updates. I learnt most of my computer handling in the Dummies' books too.

Microchip - Convenience or Entrapment?

2005-01-18T22:48:00.000+08:00

Today's article on the front page of The Sun Newspaper I had known about this for more than a year. It's the size of a grain of rice.A new development which eliminates the necessity of using currency or credit cards. It is already being used by the wealthy as a tool to help prevent kidnapping. You will use it for its advantages and to help prevent fraud and identity theft...MOTOROLA is the company producing the microchip for MONDEX SMARTCARD.They developed several implants for humans using the “Bio-chip.” TRANSPONDER IS A SYSTEM OF STORAGE FOR READING INFORMATION IN MICROCHIPS. READING OCCURS IN WAVES LIKE A REMOTE CONTROL.The “bio-chip” measures 7mm of length and .075mm wide, as large as a grain of rice. It contains a transponder and a rechargeable Lithium battery. The battery is recharged by a thermocouple circuit that produces an electrical current with the fluctuation of body temperature.More than 250 corporations and 20 countries are involved in the distribution of MONDEX to the world and many nations are “privileged” to use this system, among them: Great Britian, Canada, U.S.A., Australia, New Zealand, Israel, Hong Kong, China, Indonesia, Macau, Malaysia, Philipines, Singapore, Thailand, India, Taiwan, Sri Lanka, Costa Rica, Guatemala, Nicaragua, Panama, Honduras, El Salvador & Brazil. You get the drift. There are other SMARTCARD systems being used through MONDEX, especially since MasterCard bought 51% share of the company.Then ask yourself...in the end, what does that have to do with me? They spent more than $1.5 Million Dollars in research just to discover the best place to insert the “bio-chip” into the human body. They only found two satisfactory and efficient places - THE HEAD, underneath the scalp and the backside of the hand, specifically… THE RIGHT HAND. He causes all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hand or on their foreheads, 17 and that no one may buy or sell except one who has the mark or the name of the beast, or the number of his name. Revelation 13:16-17 Not much of a coincidence? One billion “bio-chips” are being produced by MONDEX a year. It’s been in production for at least two years. They discovered that if the chip would be in a card, they will encounter serious problems. The chip could be cut and information would be changed or falsified. The value could be manipulated, stolen or lost. After you receive the card, it will expire within one to two years. In the end, real money will be insecure in the general market.There is only one solution for this problem, embraced by MOTOROLA… implanting the “bio-chip” in the right hand or the head, where it cannot be removed. If it is removed by surgery, the small capsule will burst and the individual would be contaminated by the Lithium and the chemical in the microbacteria, and the Global Positioning System (GPS) will detect if it was removed, and will alert the authorities. Notice MONDEX means “Money on your hand.” MON = MONetary DEX = DEXter = Right-hand side Now that you’ve been informed, but still doubt this information, do the following. Go to www.google.com, search for the word bold;"“VERICHIP” and read some of the links. Do the same with the words “MONDEX SMARTCARD.” You can no longer claim ignorance. You are now accountable. You may get a copy of a Bible software to help you in your search for the verses. Get it online at www.e-sword.org May God bless you.

God Sent Me A Racket Tailed Drongo

2005-01-18T15:42:00.000+08:00

God Sent Me A Racket Tailed Drongo I woke up this morning to bird calls, as with all the other mornings since I've moved into my current dwelling place beside a jungle & a cemetary which houses the remains of Yap Ah Loy, The Capitan of Kuala Lumpur. It wasn't just any bird call. It was an intriguing call, more like a song that changes with the flicker of sunlight that penetrated parts of this jungle. I would walk over to my window & see this remarkable Racket Tailed Drongo( Dicrurus paradiseus) that would greet me each morning in front of my bedroom on the tree branch just ahead. I would watch it in awe. It brought back memories of my first encounter with this bird in Langkawi at Burau Bay. I was walking along the road leading back to Berjaya Resort with my camera, hoping to capture a raptor or two. Just as soon as I saw one overhead, it settled on a low branch right in front of me. I was thinking how I would be the envy of the birdwatchers before me when I show them my pictures later! What a timely presence! It was a beautiful eagle, about 40cm in height & just as I was preparing to prop my camera, an unbelievable thing happened that took my breath away. Out of nowhere, a racket-tailed drongo took a suicidal dive from the sky at the perched eagle in what seemed to be an act of vengeance of some sort. I witnessed a tremendous amount of courage exerted by the drongo as I stood there in confusion with my hand shielding my eyes from the sun as it repeatedly plunged into the eagle! Before long, the eagle fluttered & knew it was no match for this mad, suicidal bird & took flight. I was too floored to take a picture although at other times, I would not have missed the opportunity. In fact, I was upset at the drongo for chasing away my subject when I had spent the whole morning looking for raptors in the area! I couldn't shake that feeling off! This was also before I knew of the bird's name. There were streamers at its' tail which was rather unusual. A check with Irshad, my birdwatching expert guide, established my respect for this fearless drongo. It has an alliance with small mammals (squirrels, baby monkeys etc.) & other birds to protect them when birds of predator come a calling...! Should the eagle(predator) be of a greater size, several drongos would group together to drive it away! Now that's what I call a bird of character! Coming back to this morning, I was privileged to have been allowed to stand at my window without scarring the birds away. I take it that my presence has been accepted by the colonies of this quaint jungle outside my abode. Then the drongo sang. And constantly changing tunes. Before long, I came to the conclusion that this bird has the ability to mimic the cries of other birds as well! Hah! What a great actor! Just then, God impressed upon my heart to draw this mighty bird of courage & said, "Regardless of creed, colour or size, I can select anyone among you to tend to my flock. Though the smaller in size does not mean lesser in strength, nor the greater among you is necessarily good. I have created all nations to answer to My calling & have brought forth prophets to prophesy in your language yet if choose to remain divided, you will not stand. Do not worry what to say when you are brought to a test for I will give you the words when the time comes. Like this drongo, though solitary, has a purpose to keep the weaker safe. You may be like a squirrel one day or a monkey the next but I called you to be a drongo. Like this drongo, many things can be spoken in that many will also hear & receive." In an act of worship, I opened my Christmas present in the form of chalk pastels & drew the drongo in 3 hours.

My HF Leader Washed My Feet

2005-01-17T22:15:00.000+08:00

I was told to bring a towel & not wear socks to my regular Friday nights' FatManShip (FeiLoShip) at Dr. Ng's house. To have been planted there is another story altogether but the usual cheerful mood that enveloped the place was somehow, not there last Friday. The turnout was less than usual too. At best, we would have about 36 members but on that day, there were only half. Uncle Michael, our Bethel Home Fellowship leader, is a general surgeon. He has a son & 2 daughters about my age. Auntie Lisa, his wife, would tell us of how she gets upset with him, goes out & buys jewellery! The value of the jewellery she buys, goes up with her mood too. What a trick to learn..... We got on with praise & worship at the beginning & then a period of intercession followed by this 'act' that was performed by Jesus to His twelve disciples, even to Judas Iscariot, the disciple who betrayed Him. When Jesus was about to wash Peter's feet, Peter objected & Jesus answered him, "unless I wash you, you have no part in Me." Having stated this, Uncle Michael took on the bucket of water together with his wife, Auntie Lisa, & invited the first couple to have their feet washed in humility. As I witnessed this remarkable event, I thought about how Jesus felt, tears just flowed while I awaited my turn after the deputy leaders. I wasn't the only one moved to tears. The men were humbled by this simple yet astounding act of washing the 'servants'' feet. Never would they have imagined that a man of stature & standard would stoop to wash his charges' feet let alone a man many years our senior. My turn came & Auntie Lisa washed my feet. I am truly blessed. Immediately, I understood how our Lord Jesus Christ came in to the world as a humble servant in that He, as Lord & Teacher, have washed His disciples' feet, so we ought to wash one anothers' feet. Never have great men in history been reported to act in this humbling manner as Jesus has. Truly, truly, blessed are those who walk in His ways.

How Funny

2005-01-16T02:02:00.000+08:00

This piece was sent to me & I thought it was very profound in the way it addressed how we have lived our lives... Funny how $50 "looks" so big when you take it to church, but so small when you take it to the market. Funny how long it takes to serve God for an hour, but how quickly a team plays 60 minutes of basketball. Funny how long a couple of hours spent at church are, but how short they are when watching a movie. Funny how we can't think of anything to say when we pray, but don't have difficulty thinking of things to talk about to a friend. Funny how we get thrilled when a baseball game goes into extra innings, but we complain when a sermon is longer than the regular time. Funny how hard it is to read a chapter in the Bible, but how easy it is to read 100 pages of a best selling novel. Funny how people want to get a front seat at any game or concert, but scramble to get a back seat at church services. Funny how we need 2 or 3 weeks advance notice to fit a church event into our schedule, but can adjust our schedule for other events at the last moment. Funny how hard it is for people to learn a simple gospel well enough to tell others, but how simple it is for the same people to understand and repeat gossip. Funny how we believe what the newspaper says, but question what the Bible says. Funny how everyone wants to go to heaven provided they do not have to believe, or to think, or to say, or do anything.

2005-01-12T17:24:00.000+08:00

Peacock @ Rawa

2005-01-12T17:03:00.000+08:00

Orchid in bloom

Dive Terminology

2005-01-12T16:46:00.000+08:00

Pummkin's Pitch Ever so often, I'm faced with many divers exhibiting many kinds of habits & displaying a variety of emotions/attitude/behaviour of which I've been challenged to give them its proper terminology/classification. This way, it helps to 'IDENTIFY' their special needs & help DMs who are 'expected' to babysit, handle the situation better. Feel free to add to this list as this is meant to exhibit the various facade of divers. 1) The Barracuda - the hot-blooded male who would pursue & devour anything & everything that wears shiny ornaments (hairclips, glitter nail enamel, lip gloss.....) usually active at night. 2) Cuttlefish - the delicate one who changes colour as its' emotions flutter from being cheerful to grumpy & then sulk for the rest of the dive trip because the handsome barracuda is paying attention to other Spanish Dancers.... 3) Remora - the diver who would have at least an arm or a leg wrapped around yours for security & locomotion. They would almost always find the most capable diver in the group & latch on for life. 4) Octopus - the diver who pokes, prod, pries open everything, on the rocks & under, sticks its' head into affairs, extend its' arms to grope on the pretext of feel; tries to get into crevices both above & underwater & can often blend in with the crowd with its' adaptability.... 5) Juvenile Harlequin Sweetlips - the one who looks really good, who hasn't mastered its' buoyancy control & sways/swirls its' fins/limbs to move a short distance. Usually doesn't know where it's going. Has a lot of fancy equipment that can't help at all. 6) Triggerfish - majestic-looking grumpy bugger who is extremely territorial when it comes to personal equipment/belongings. Always argue with the rest of the divers in the group; can't take instructions; annoys the life out of DMs & usually pick on them. 7) Trevally - the diver who dashes from point to point, often looking for big things but never find them, fins ahead of everybody, fins back to find out why everyone's hanging around then fins away again only to fin back to find divers at the same spot. Oh, I've had those that kick me in my face & dislodge my mask, very often I turn into a REMORA when I get them coming in front of me! When they feel your weight, they will scramble out of the way. Most importantly is that you never lose your cool......be a SEA CUCUMBER & take the s**t from everybody, if all else fails, eviscerate(a defence mechanism of a sea cucumber to spew white stuff to deter predator, if this fails, they will spew their intestines). Aaahhh.....SPANISH DANCERS, just when you think they are a joy to look at, the daintiest of the beauty of all things soft & pretty (like the ones BARRACUDAs like to go for), they lift off, flap their mantle & start swimming away into yonder, leaving everyone baffled as to who had the duty to look after this dame. The DMs would mount a search & rescue operation only to find this damsel on another boat, apparently lost & got chaperoned by a BARRACUDA from another dive operator. Then of course, there are those who refuse to come down to the reef no matter what jewel, treasure, critter, chiton that you've discovered & choose to remain above everyone else, hovering at the safe limit - they are called MANTA RAYS. Never underestimate the simplicity of this name. It comes out from nowhere, strikes a blow, usually in the form of a prey, perhaps landing with a CUTTLEFISH or a SPANISH DANCER for the night & retreats into its' burrow, as fast as it appeared. With a force of a 220 calibre bullet, this MANTIS SHRIMP is capable of assisting the production MANTLEFISH or SPANISH SHRIMPs (think genetic crossing) in a matter of seconds. Then CUTTLEFISH & SPANISH DANCER shall dive no more...... The most entertaining of them all - THE FLAMBOYANT CUTTLEFISH - rare breed, always like to be in colourful & sometimes dazzling attire, coupled with swaying motion, not female but graciously effeminate, very often demonstrating flexible-wrist-movement set to hynotise you. Only there for a time & a season then a whole new breed comes along. Have you come across any of them???

Contagious Cupidry

2005-01-11T14:02:00.000+08:00

There was a time when we used to snigger at those bachelors whose mothers had to hire the services of a 'match-maker' upon coming of age. The 'mui-yan' had the task of finding the right candidate for the client & would prey upon matriachs who would insist that her sometimes-over-aged child be match-made on her terms. The screening process would actually involve the match maker doing some background checking, often with the help of tale-tattlers, to find the so-called 'suitable' candidate. In my days of growing up, I used to believe in the happy ever after stories I read in books to the point that I would fantasise of being a Cinderella who was enslaved, Beauty meeting charming beast that would defy all logic to turn into a handsome human being, the fussed princess who could feel a stupid pea beneath the ton of Dunlopillo, and Snow White with her entourage of little men only to discover the political incorrectness of these tales later in life. I've had my fair share of meeting princes only to see them turn into frogs or better still, become the masculine version of Snow White & covet 7 other little women.... Then John took a serious interest in my affairs by telling me all about this doctor friend of his who's a great guy of the same faith & who doesn't womanise. Now that's a surprise. Coming from a guy, I thought it was rather significant. My first reaction to this was, how on earth can I accept being match made? I enjoyed John's company & didn't really see it necessary to marry the guy he mentioned, so I went along, more for being curious to see who this man John described. Our meeting was an instantaneous hit off, progressing into a makan session with this doctor who had a major interest in health & nutrition. He was giving me all these tips to eating right & keeping fit. Then he did the most remarkable thing I thought was so funny, he starred into my face, gasped, stroked to feel it, then handed me two bottles of miracle cure-all made of some sheep extract!!! Now that was really hilarious. He never called me again. Having failed in his attempt of pairing me with an eligible & wealthy doctor, John was bent on marrying me off. I found out that this was how he met his wife too. It explains why he believed in cupidry. He then got his ex college mate so excited about meeting me so he kind of packaged me as a fun loving girl who's got an obsession for the sea. Chris was an absolutely far out guy who loved reptiles. He would go into detail of how he feeds squeeking frogs to his baby monitor lizard pet.....Apart from this queerness, he was actually a very nice & caring guy who loved to sing at karaokes. I told him that I wasn't keen on relationships as yet & he immediately turned into a concerned brotherly figure. Weeks followed & Chris sends me encouraging SMSes as he goes about to search for his true love with beauty to boot. Then he got the bug & as if I was a commodity, he begged me to put on war paint & meet his ever so single, boss. I told him that I had to be in the mood to paint my face & especially when it's so late, I have no desire to look good even for Hugh Jackman. Tan turned out to be a good looking, decent chap whom you would take home to meet your parents but we had diverse interest. Again, we became good friends & the talk has become rife that he too, would set me up with yet another so-called charming bloke...